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Band 4.5

Some people think that current environment issues are global problems and should therefore be dealt with by the government, while others believe that these problems can only be tackled by individuals. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #environment #government #individuals
Some set of
people
 opine that
its
Correct your spelling
it is
show examples
 the Government who should
dealt
Change the verb form
deal
be dealt
show examples
 with the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
issues
while
 other set of
people
 believe these
issues
also
 be taken care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 alone. In
this
 essay, we will discuss both the perspectives below and
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will share my opinion in the
last
.
To begin
 with, global warming
issues
 are the major weather
issues
 where only authorities can take care of them.
This
 environmental
issues
Change the determiner
issue
show examples
does
Verb problem
is
show examples
 not
limit
Wrong verb form
limited
show examples
 to one city or country,
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 beyond the boundaries where
single
Add an article
the single
a single
show examples
 nation cannot handle
this
.
As a result
, countries should come together and sign a project on how to tackle
this
 problem globally.
For instance
, Japan came up with
campaign
Add an article
a campaign
show examples
 like Project Green where multiple countries
sign
Wrong verb form
signed
show examples
 an agreement to work on reducing the carbon
foot prints
Correct your spelling
footprints
show examples
 in their own countries and review it every year the results
acheived
Correct your spelling
achieved
 so far.
On the other hand
, each person can
shares
Change the verb form
share
show examples
 his contribution to
solve
Change the verb form
solving
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
enviromental
Correct your spelling
environmental
issues
 by reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
waste,
planting
Correct word choice
and planting
show examples
 trees in their own areas.
Also
,
people
 should focus on recycling paper and plastics.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
 individuals can plan to commute via public
tranport
Correct your spelling
transport
 more
instead
 of their own car or motorcycle.
As a result
, together we can reduce the pollution which
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
 from waste and traffic to some extent. To reckon with, in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
 Government and individuals should work closely to reduce the impact of global warming in each country, as
people
 alone cannot deal with
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
 to a large extent. Together we can and together we will.
Submitted by jagjeetshraj44 on

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coherence cohesion
There's a strong foundation, but refining your essay with clearer and more logically connected paragraphs would enhance your overall coherence and cohesion. Incorporate clearer transitions between ideas and ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next.
coherence cohesion
Make sure the introduction more explicitly outlines the topics to be discussed, and ensure the conclusion neatly summarizes the main points and explicitly states your opinion.
task achievement
Your essay responds well to the task, but aim for a more comprehensive analysis. Provide more depth in discussing both viewpoints and include more diverse and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammar and punctuation to ensure your arguments are clearly presented without distractions from minor errors.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • global responsibility
  • environmental regulations
  • renewable energy
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable businesses
  • grassroots movement
  • public transport
  • conserving water
  • environmental initiatives
  • policy change
What to do next:
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