IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

In some countries governments are encouraging industry and business to move out of large cities and go to regional areas. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays, industry and
business
Use synonyms
 have been
encouraging
Wrong verb form
encouraged
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 by part of the nations governments to establish their factories in regional
areas
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instead
Linking Words
 of in large cities. I strongly believe that there are much more
benefits
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
 movement than drawbacks. Having a company in a metropolitan area could bring lots of
benefits
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, especially because the infrastructure is better than in smaller
centers
Change the spelling
centres
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, with more transport options to receive and dispatch goods
as well as
Linking Words
 a bigger range of specialized services and
also
Linking Words
 skilled labour. Even
tought
Correct your spelling
though
,
usually
Add a comma
usually,
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 the general costs to keep a
business
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 in large cities are higher and not worth it,
for
Linking Words
instance
Add the comma(s)
instance,
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 the taxes and rents are normally more expensive.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, moving industries to regional
areas
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 could benefit not just the local
population
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, but
also
Linking Words
 the entrepreneurs,
due to
Linking Words
 the savings. A new
business
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 in a town or small city may bring more opportunities for workers, with job offers the inhabitants do not need to move to
metropolies
Correct your spelling
metropolises
metropolis
 seeking for a greater
careers
Correct the article-noun agreement
career
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, almost all the biggest
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
 in the world are heavily populated,
Correct word choice
and reorganize
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reorganize
Wrong verb form
reorganising
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 the
population
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 density
also
Linking Words
 brings advantages in the sense
to avoid
Change preposition
of avoiding
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 migration to already overcrowded
areas
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.
In addition
Linking Words
, industries and
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business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
 can lead to the development of a different region owing to the need
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 improvements that can
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benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
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 everyone,
such
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 as government
investimento
Correct your spelling
investment
 in roads,
as well as
Linking Words
 new opportunities
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 small commerces to supply daily
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
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, like restaurants and bakeries.
To sum up
Linking Words
, there are numerous
benefits
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 in the
politice
Correct your spelling
politics
 that encourage companies to establish in regional
areas
Use synonyms
, which outweigh the drawbacks. The advantages achieve the entrepreneurs, the local
population
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 from towns
as well as
Linking Words
 the large cities.
Besides
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, the government can plan better how to distribute the
population
Use synonyms
.

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task response
Ensure a clear and direct thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly state your position.
task response
Work on paraphrasing the essay question in the introduction to avoid repetition.
coherence cohesion
Implement a wider range of linking words and phrases to smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Organize paragraphs clearly with one main idea each, supported by examples or further explanation.
coherence cohesion
Revise and proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and typos for improved clarity and professionalism.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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