Using a computer everyday can have more negative than positive effects on young children. Do you agree or disagree?
Modern
era is Add an article
The modern
technological
era. Correct article usage
a technological
Computer
become Fix the agreement mistake
Computers
a
integral part of our Change the article
an
life
. Youngsters use it in many ways. In my Fix the agreement mistake
lives
opinion
it has more positive impacts than negative on Add a comma
opinion,
young
generation.
First of all, Correct article usage
the young
Computer
help Fix the agreement mistake
Computers
the
children in their studies. They search Correct article usage
apply
many
Change preposition
for many
type
of information related to their studies through Change to a plural noun
types
internet
. They get more ideas related to any particular topic which Add an article
the internet
enhance
their knowledge.
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
Secondly
, it helps to improve there
skills. With the help of social sites like Replace the word
their
facebook
, Capitalize word
Facebook
twitter
they interact with their friends, Capitalize word
Twitter
kith-kin
. It helps them to increase their capability to communicate with others. Correct word choice
and kith-kin
Moreover
, they become perfect in their work, they become literate in computer
. Which would help them in their career Fix the agreement mistake
computers
also
. Then
everywhere is demand
Add an article
the demand
a demand
of
Change preposition
for
computer
it would Fix the agreement mistake
computers
helps
Change the verb form
help
to
organisations to find Change preposition
apply
perfect
match for Add an article
the perfect
a perfect
job
. Correct article usage
a job
Then
, they need not to trained staff, they can get efficient persons.
However
, one of the major drawback
is that it Change to a plural noun
drawbacks
invite
many health problems among young children they Change the verb form
invites
spent
long hours in front of computers which Wrong verb form
spend
effect
Correct your spelling
affects
on
their eyes, Change preposition
apply
obesity
is another problem for them. Correct word choice
and obesity
Furthermore
it Add a comma
Furthermore,
increase
Change the verb form
increases
gap
between parents and their Add an article
the gap
child
they Fix the agreement mistake
children
spent
most of their time on Wrong verb form
spend
computer
rather than Correct article usage
the computer
talk
to their Wrong verb form
talking
guardian
.
In Fix the agreement mistake
guardians
nutshell
, I would like to say that even Correct article usage
a nutshell
computer
has many pros and cons. Parents should fix Correct article usage
a computer
sometime
to use the Replace the word
some time
computer
and also
restrict on websites.Submitted by aiforeducation2023 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Introduce your essay with a clear statement about your viewpoint to better address Task Achievement. Make sure it aligns with the prompt's request for agreement or disagreement.
Coherence
Develop clear paragraphs with topic sentences to improve coherence. Each paragraph should focus on one main idea, supporting your overall argument.
Coherence
For Coherence, use a variety of linking words beyond just simple connectors like 'firstly' or 'secondly'. Try including contrasting connectors (e.g., 'however', 'on the other hand') and cause-effect connectors ('therefore', 'as a result').
Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear conclusion that restates your position and summarizes your main points. This will enhance the overall structure and completeness of your response.
Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, provide specific, relevant examples to support your arguments. These examples make your ideas more convincing and comprehensive.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.