Some people believe that children should play outdoor games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In
this
contemporary era, learning foreign
languages
is becoming trendy in academic sectors, and parents are frantically wanting their
children
to study certain
languages
.
However
, it is argued that some pupils have no talent for learning extra
languages
because of brain memory limitations or because they are lazy. And, if students are not offered to learn, institutions should not put pressure on them to do so. In my point of view, I completely disagree with
this
statement because
language
is the key to opening the world. To be with, In
this
modernized society, the
English
language
plays a vital role, and people who master a certain foreign
language
will be able to easily get jobs and
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
in a reputable
university
such
as Yelu or UCLA.
Thus
, for
children
's flashiness,
future
guardians and schooling should force
children
to attend the lesson, which can secure their
future
academically and socially.
For example
, the majority of the highest-quality academic institutions are in the United States,
such
as Harvard
University
and New York
University
. If a student learns
English
as a child,
then
they will be disappointed when their priorities change because of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
lack of
English
skills they could get rejected from their dream school.
Furthermore
,
children
's guardians have a responsibility to plan for their child's
future
development and survive in the
cural
Correct your spelling
rural
society. Because spoilage can lead them to a worse situation.
Due to
this
, the majority of decent jobs are secretly concerned about their
English
skills and extra foreign
language
skills. Nowadays, businesses tend to be globalized, so if you can master certain
languages
or
English
, you can have a job opportunity compared to people who have no foreign
language
ability.
Consequently
, some
adamic
Correct your spelling
academic
institutions have to persuade their pupils and impose on them to learn about and develop proficiency in it. In conclusion, learning extra
languages
is nothing but a drawback, so to be successful in adult life, students have to study foreign
languages
as early as possible.
And school
Correct word choice
School
show examples
and parents
also
have to force
children
to learn
languages
in order to achieve their dream
university
and job in the
future
.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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task response
Ensure your essay stays focused on the topic provided. The provided essay discusses the importance of learning foreign languages, which does not directly address the prompt about children playing outdoor games. Read the prompt carefully to ensure your essay is relevant and directly answers the question asked.
coherence and cohesion
Improve logical structure by organizing your essay into clear paragraphs, each with a single main idea. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader and provide smoother transitions between ideas.
coherence and cohesion
To support your main points, try to include specific examples or evidence. While your essay mentions general benefits, incorporating concrete stories or statistics can make your arguments more compelling and understandable.
task achievement
For task achievement, expand your argument by addressing counterarguments or providing a more nuanced viewpoint. Acknowledging different perspectives can enrich your essay and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cognitive skills
  • problem-solving
  • critical thinking
  • hand-eye coordination
  • reflexes
  • teamwork
  • communication skills
  • multiplayer
  • cooperative games
  • addiction
  • prolonged screen time
  • inappropriate content
  • online predators
  • aggressive behavior
  • violent games
  • physical activities
  • face-to-face interactions
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