IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

With more people choosing to live abroad,some people think these people must adapt to the customs and behaviours expected in the host country. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Over the past few years,
people
Use synonyms
 inclined to live in a different
country
Use synonyms
 has become commonplace,it could be
due to
Linking Words
 a variety of reasons,
such
Linking Words
 as the job factor,marriage or their children.
However
Linking Words
,some
people
Use synonyms
 think they should respect the culture of the host countries.I believe
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 the host countries have the responsibility to treat them well and accept the differences of their original
country
Use synonyms
. There is no doubt that the culture worldwide has a huge difference.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 eat pork as a main dish in
Taiwan
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 in Indonesia,they do not eat pork because of their religion. The condition
nowaday
Correct your spelling
nowadays
show examples
 is that many imported
labour
Correct your spelling
labourers
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 come from different countries to
Taiwan
Use synonyms
 for several years.
As a result
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can adapt and respect the
people
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 in different nations.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,the respect between the visitor and the host
country
Use synonyms
 should be mutual.
For instance
Linking Words
,there are many exotic marriages in
Taiwan
Use synonyms
,in order to live in
Taiwan
Use synonyms
,they have many challenging missions for adapting to multiple changes ,
such
Linking Words
 as the climate,food or the festivals to celebrate.
Therefore
Linking Words
, trying to follow the new experience is the major priority to the different
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use paragraphs to organize your ideas effectively.
details
Incorporate more detailed and specific examples to strengthen your main points and arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.
flow
Work on linking your ideas more smoothly using transition words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. This will help in enhancing coherence and cohesion.
response completeness
Fully address the prompt by discussing both why individuals moving abroad should adapt to the host country's customs and also consider perspectives that might disagree with this view for a more balanced argument.
grammar
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and ensure that your sentences are clear and concise. This will improve the overall readability of your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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