IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people regard eating meat as completely wrong. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #people #meat
Certain
people
 believe that eating
meat
 is something that
people
 must not do. Consuming
meat
 is absolutely inappropriate for them in life.
While
 there are some strong arguments in favour of vegetarianism, I still believe that
meat
 is necessary for
people
’s health. I believe that
meat
 is necessary in every person’s life, especially for a growing body.
Meat
 gives us strength and after
it
Add a comma
it,
show examples
 we have a good feeling of fullness. Most proteins are obtained by eating
meat
, which helps maintain the muscle. Proteins
also
 give energy to consumers and repair the destroyed part of our bodies.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
meat
 gives us
amount
Correct article usage
an amount
show examples
 of vitamins which support our immune system and make us healthier in different ways.
For example
, there are vitamins for our skin,
for
Correct word choice
and for
show examples
 our blood.
On the contrary
, protein can be found not only in
meat
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
 in plants. So, some
people
 might suggest that it might be better to eat plants
instead
 of
meat
 because they
also
 contain protein and these plants require fewer resources to grow.
Moreover
, some
people
 eat mushrooms
instead
 of
meat
 because they absolutely replace protein for
body’s
Correct article usage
the body’s
show examples
 needs and follow
this
 theory. They believe that it is better for them and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
. In conclusion, it is unreasonable and illogical to judge
people
 on what they eat,
however
, on a personal level, I reckon that
meat
 is very useful nutrition for our body, as it contains
large
Change the article
a large
show examples
 amount of healthy substances that our body needs. So
to sum up
, we should eat
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
show examples
that is
 useful for us.
Submitted by muradismailbayli on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your score in task achievement, ensure that your essay answers all parts of the question fully. While your essay presents a clear position throughout, incorporating more varied and specific examples to support your arguments could strengthen your response. Consider using statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes to add depth to your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, work on the flow of ideas between paragraphs. While your essay has a logical structure, transitions between paragraphs can be made smoother to enhance readability. Consider using cohesive devices more effectively, such as linking phrases that directly connect one paragraph to the next. Additionally, organizing your ideas clearly within each paragraph will help maintain a strong focus throughout your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: