IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Houses are essential for people. Some people argue that the government should offer free houses for people who cannot afford it. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#houses #people #government #offer
Accommodation is one of the most significant preconditions for the well-being of individuals. Some
people
 claim that authorities should provide free housing for those who can not pay prohibitive
prices
 of houses.
Although
 providing free accommodation can pose an economic burden on the local economy, I totally agree with the idea of giving homes to citizens who can not pay high property
prices
. It would be impossible to grant housing to all unprivileged
people
. Since government authorities
shotherll
Correct your spelling
should
 ate state budget equally on all
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
public services,
provision
Correct article usage
the provision
show examples
 of substantial funding in one specific area would force to
reduce
Replace the word
reduction
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financial
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of financial
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 resources in
others
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
 areas.
This
 might end up in social unrest and disagreements
amount
Correct your spelling
among
show examples
 different groups of society, leading to chaos and anarchy.
Therefore
,
according to
 recent government statistics, social housing is only possible as long as couples are financially secure to pay the lowest
interests
Change the noun form
interest
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 rates.
On the other hand
, it is an undeniable fact that
provision
Correct article usage
the provision
show examples
 of houses free of charge would alleviate the challenge of house ownership. Nowadays, exorbitant
prices
 of real estate put buying a property out of reach of most first-time buyers. Many young
people
 are priced out of the housing market
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and have to take in lodgers to make ends meet, or rent over-priced flats miles away from the city centre. As most of these
people
 are economically disadvantaged, they can not afford to take mortgages as well
due to
 higher interest rates.
Therefore
, in my opinion, providing housing
certain
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for certain
show examples
section
Fix the agreement mistake
sections
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 of
population
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the population
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 who live below
poverty
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the poverty
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 line would be an excellent opportunity to
enhancing
Wrong verb form
enhance
show examples
social
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the social
show examples
 well-being of local
people
. In conclusion, despite the likelihood of economic challenges to the local economy, I definitely advocate the idea of providing free housing to less affluent members of society who might enjoy a quality life with that support. It is predicted that in the future the
prices
 of houses are set to
soarwhich
Correct your spelling
soar which
 will cause many
people
 to give up considering a personal house.
Submitted by writingbhos on

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Task Achievement
To improve the Task Achievement score, ensure that you fully respond to the prompt by addressing all parts of the task. Including more specific examples and evidence to support your points can strengthen your argument and make your ideas more convincing.
Coherence & Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on improving the logical flow and transitions between paragraphs. Use a variety of linking words and phrases to connect ideas more smoothly and clearly outline the structure of your essay in the introduction.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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