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Band 3

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important.Discuss both views and giv your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth #giv
It is believed that some regions value old
people
whereas
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 cultures state that
younger
Correct article usage
the younger
show examples
 generation
to be
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the priority.
This
 author
agree
Correct subject-verb agreement
agrees
show examples
 that younger
people
 should be prior
mor
Correct your spelling
more
 than older
people
 and will demonstrate why
throught
Correct your spelling
throughout
out
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
 essay. Specifically, most of the
work forces
Correct your spelling
workforce
show examples
 nowadays are young workers.As young
people
 are usually more healthy and active
mny
Correct your spelling
many
 cultures throughout the world admire their skills and passion.
Therefore
,youngsters help to benefit the country they
served
Wrong verb form
serve
show examples
 and build a better living environment.
However
, when most youngsters are immature and
inexperience
Replace the word
inexperienced
show examples
, they tend to symbolize
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fragile innocent of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Subsequently
, wiser
elder
Replace the word
elderly
show examples
people
 in some of the country are
look
Wrong verb form
looked
show examples
 up
by
Change preposition
to by
show examples
 many individuals.They give
advices
Correct your spelling
advice
 and lead the young
generatin
Correct your spelling
generation
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a better lifestyle.It is
also
beleived
Correct your spelling
believed
 that the affection elder
people
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 in their retirement is for their dedication and
hardwor
Correct your spelling
hard work
 during their youth.
To sum up
,
while
 older
people
 tend to be more experienced and worth the affection more than younger
people
,
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 is undeniable that the young generation is
also
 being valued as they are the main work
forc
Correct your spelling
force
for
 of their country.

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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on the logical flow of your essay. Each paragraph should smoothly transition into the next through clear topic sentences that outline the paragraph's main idea. Using linking words, such as 'furthermore,' 'however,' and 'in addition,' can help maintain a cohesive argument throughout.
task achievement
Develop your paragraphs with more specific examples and details. This will strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive. To achieve this, consider including real-life situations, statistics, or studies to back up your points.
task achievement
Regarding task response, ensure your opinion is clear and maintained throughout the essay. While you provided an opinion, reinforcing it by comparing and contrasting the views more directly throughout could strengthen your position and make your stance more pronounced to the reader.
general
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation to avoid errors that can detract from the clarity and professionalism of your writing. Regular proofreading and mindful practice can help reduce such mistakes.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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