Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

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Nowadays, the
Government
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spends
a
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an
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amount of
money
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on the arts,
for
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example
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, music and theatre, and believes that it is a poor financial decision.
However
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, the
Government
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need to allocate
money
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to public
services
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. In
this
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essay, I will evaluate
this
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idea and present some benefits and drawbacks. On the one hand, the
Government
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considers that spending
money
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on the arts music and theatre is a waste of
money
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. The reason is that there are no benefits for
people
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.
For
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example
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,
People
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are not interested in theatres.
Nevertheless
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, there are some
people
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who work in
this
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sphere and
people
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who are interested in theatres,
for
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example
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, there are singers who work and earn
money
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.
In addition
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, there are certain
people
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who are fans of theatres.
On the other hand
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, the
Government
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should supply
money
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for public
services
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rather than for music, arts and theatre. The contributing factor to
this
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circumstance is there are lack of high-quality public
services
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,
for
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example
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, hospitals don't have high-quality equipment.
Furthermore
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, schools can not provide suitable learning courses to our children, if the
government
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invest less in educational institutions.
However
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,
instead
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of investing in public
services
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, there are more vital
services
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that need to be invested more than other
services
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.
Such
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as the
Government
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need to allocate
money
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for military
services
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. In conclusion, politicians should equally allocate their budget to both
services
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.
However
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, I vehemently agree with the assertion that
money
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needs to be spent on public
services
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. Doing so has a significant impact on the development of our society.

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coherence cohesion
To improve your logical structure, try to clearly establish your stance in the introduction and consistently maintain it throughout your essay. Use clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to enhance the clarity of your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion. The introduction should outline your stance on the topic, while the conclusion should summarise your main points and restate your position. This strengthens your essay's overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
When supporting your main points, provide more concrete examples and evidence. This can include statistics, real-life examples, or cited research. This will make your arguments more convincing and comprehensive.
task achievement
To achieve a more complete response to the task, ensure that you fully address all parts of the prompt. Clearly discuss the reasons for and against the government's investment in the arts versus public services, and then effectively justify your personal stance.
task achievement
For clearer, more comprehensive ideas, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea, supported by relevant details and examples. Avoid overgeneralization by drilling down into specifics to illustrate your points more vividly.
task achievement
Try to include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. Tailor your examples to directly reflect and substantiate your claims. This could greatly enhance the persuasiveness and relevance of your essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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