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Band 5

n some cultures the old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#n #cultures #age #youth
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Whether some population believe that the elderly are valuable,
whereas
 others think that young
people
 are more vital is a highly discussion point.
This
 writer believes that the benefit of acquiring knowledge to protect their culture from old age, drawback new thinking of youngsters. It must be recognized that old maturity can be very valuable. They have lived long enough to gain knowledge and experience and have been able to preserve the culture of their ancestors for the present generation.
Thus
, old age society can be the master in some fields and they should be respected by other communities. Take Japan as an example, where the elderly rate is much higher than in other countries, they still develop based on their old employment, elders are professional and good at every job.
However
, the youth should be considered more important in developing countries
due to
 their new thinking. Teenagers and those in their twenties are the main employment in society.
Although
 they do not have much experience
also
 young
people
 learn new things faster than old
people
.
As a result
, they can make their country more developed and future improvements. The young are
also
 crucial to developing our society.
To conclude
, some places think that old age is valued,
while
 other cultures think that youth is more important. Elders have experience and young
people
 have new thinking.
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure your response fully addresses all parts of the task. It should provide a clear and comprehensive discussion on both views mentioned in the prompt, along with a well-explained personal opinion. Incorporating more relevant and specific examples will also help strengthen your arguments and make them more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay's coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas and ensure there is a clear progression of thoughts throughout the essay. Additionally, employing a variety of linking words can help smooth transitions between sentences and ideas, improving the overall flow of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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