IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and giv your opinion.

#places #age #cultures #youth #giv
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is an opposition
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
point
Use synonyms
 in some
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 that
youth
Use synonyms
 and old age which is more vital for the community. I totally agree with the view that the
youth
Use synonyms
 play a crucial role in our world and
this
Linking Words
 author discusses both views given. beginning with the
point
Use synonyms
 about old age which says is more important. The elderly people have learned a lot so they must have acquired a large amount of knowledge and experience. They will hardly ever fail in their fields and will bring benefits
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
finance.
However
Linking Words
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of being older and older, their ambition
in making
Change preposition
to make
show examples
breakthrough
Add an article
a breakthrough
show examples
 or their creativity can not be more fired than the
youth
Use synonyms
 as they would be valued for just a short time.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the
youth
Use synonyms
 may have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better thinking
beacause
Correct your spelling
because
 they open their mind to learn new things,
therefore
Linking Words
 young people can be helpful with providing leap ideas. Being young is a good condition
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 learning but it will take
along
Correct your spelling
a long
show examples
 time if there is nobody to teach them
otherwise
Linking Words
 they must have been self-taught. In conclusion, each
point
Use synonyms
 has solid arguments and drawbacks. At my
point
Use synonyms
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 believe that the
youth
Use synonyms
 play a crucial role in
this
Linking Words
 world.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure you thoroughly understand the task and address all parts of the prompt. Your essay should clearly discuss both views on the importance of youth and old age, then clearly articulate and support your own opinion.
task achievement
Work on developing clear, comprehensive ideas that are well supported by specific examples. This includes providing more detailed arguments and evidence for why the youth or old age might be considered more important in certain cultures.
coherence and cohesion
Organize your essay logically by using clear paragraphs for each new idea. Begin with an introduction that presents the topic and your thesis, then use each subsequent paragraph to explore a single point, and conclude with a summary of your arguments and opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the cohesion of your essay by using linking words and phrases to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. This will make your arguments easier to follow and strengthen your overall presentation.
coherence and cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and vocabulary. Using a wider range of vocabulary and grammar accurately can enhance the clarity and professionalism of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: