IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Every year an increasing number of students choose to go to another country for their higher education. Do you think the benefits of this development outweigh the problems associated with it?

#year #students #country #education #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A lot of pupils are travelling
aboard
Rephrase
abroad
show examples
 to complete their education. There are more
positives
Change the noun form
positive
show examples
 attitudes those individuals can be acquired by
this
 process.
Firstly
, students gain experience from
mix
Replace the word
mixing
show examples
 cultures and
diverse
Replace the word
diversity
show examples
 in
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 state
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they are going to
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Secondly
, individuals are useful from studying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
 schoolers in
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 near future. So , I totally agree that children gain more confidence from
this
 experience.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence & Cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your essay by creating more distinct paragraphs for introduction, main ideas, and conclusion. Each paragraph should serve a specific purpose.
Coherence & Cohesion
Introduce your essay with a clearer statement of your opinion or viewpoint on the topic, and conclude it by summarizing your main points and reiterating your stance.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples and explanations. This will demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
To achieve a complete response to the task, make sure to fully address the question by discussing both the benefits and problems associated with studying abroad. Provide a balanced view before stating your position.
Task Achievement
Use a wider range of vocabulary and sentence structures to express clear and comprehensive ideas. This will enhance the readability and effectiveness of your essay.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples from your knowledge or experience to support your points. This helps in painting a more convincing and detailed picture for the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: