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The use of cellphones has increased in this twenty-first century. Additionally, Cellphones can now be used for many purposes besides of making calls only. What are the advantages and disadvantages

#cellphones #century #purposes
Portable tiny computers which are
so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
show examples
 “mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
” are the means of
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of tasks to be done nowadays. Taking into account that these small devices carry the significant burden of human
being
Replace the word
beings
show examples
 these days by
multi purposes
Correct your spelling
multi-purpose
show examples
 utilization rather than calling only, their
usages
Fix the agreement mistake
usage
show examples
 in
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 century has been mounted so far. In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
 I will discuss why applying it has tremendous effects on individuals
beside
Change preposition
besides
show examples
 some minor drawbacks. On the one hand,
main
Correct article usage
the main
show examples
 benefits of
cell
phones application
Fix the agreement mistake
phone applications
show examples
 are adjusting, synchronizing and updating
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every single person in
this
 world in regard to others and technology improvement. There
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been
evidences
Change the wording
evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
show examples
 that mobile
phones
 even saved people’s
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 many times in critical situations.
For instance
, some survivors of a plane which
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
crashed into
jungle
Correct article usage
a jungle
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 some years ago sent a location by using
Add an article
a smart
show examples
smart
Correct your spelling
smartphone
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phone
.
Moreover
, these devices are being utilized
instead
 of previous major computers where you can share
data
, install applications and surf
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 to obtain
data
 for educational purposes. Clearly providing
data
 and sharing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it are the main advantages of
cell
phones
.
On the other hand
, in spite of having
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
 deal of benefits
gaining
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
 from
this
device
Add a comma
device,
show examples
 one can argue some drawbacks of it in daily routines. It is obvious abusing or overusing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mobile
phones
 brings about
Correct article usage
a divers
show examples
divers
Correct your spelling
diverse
show examples
 range of diseases related to
spine
Correct article usage
the spine
show examples
 or backbones that impose
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
 amount of expense on
individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
show examples
 apart from putting health at risk
for ever
Correct your spelling
forever
show examples
. Even though
this
 technology facilitated remote connection, it
also
 made people not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
get together frequently and isolated.
For instance
, when there is a party or other reunion, sadly we observe people who are using
cell
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 rather
that
Correct your spelling
than
show examples
 talking to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 person ,
this
 means we live virtually more than really.
Overall
 the main drawback
cell
phone
 provides is
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of
in person
Add a hyphen
in-person
show examples
 connections.
This
 essay discussed
main
Change the article
the main
show examples
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 of mobile
phones
 which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 providing
data
 and sharing and
lack
Correct article usage
the lack
show examples
 of connection on the other side
as
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 a main disadvantage. In my point of view,
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of
application
Add an article
the application
show examples
 of mobile
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
show examples
 outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
show examples
 and using it cautiously
provide
Correct subject-verb agreement
provides
show examples
 more positive outcomes.
Submitted by keyhan454 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on presenting your ideas in a more organized manner, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations.
coherence cohesion
Clarify your position in the introduction and conclusion to make your stance on the topic unmistakable to the reader.
task achievement
Expand on your examples by providing more detailed explanations of how they support your main points.
task achievement
Try to provide a balanced view by discussing both advantages and disadvantages equally, ensuring that both sides are thoroughly explored.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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