Some people think that too much money has been spent looking after and repairing old buildings, so we should knock down old buildings and build modern ones instead. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, a huge number of authorities have
an
idea of demolishing old buildings. Most of them support Correct article usage
the
this
with the thought of building new houses instead
. I partly disagree with this
statement.
To begin
with, the majority of the old constructions have historical affiliation. My point is that,
Remove the comma
apply
firstly
they were built a lot
years or even centuries before we were born, Add the preposition
lot of
secondly
these properties have their own history, which should be considered as important to the
mankind. Correct article usage
apply
The certain
Correct article usage
Certain
building
or streets might have been designed by a famous architect, Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
that
lived back Correct pronoun usage
who
then
and this
place can be a representation of his work.
By saving historical premises, we keep the history alive.
From my perspective, this
kind of houses
should be reconstructed and given Fix the agreement mistake
house
second
life. Some of them can be turned into apartments, and more meaningful kept as Add an article
a second
the
museums.
Correct article usage
apply
On the other hand
, because of fast-changing
lifestyle, some of the constructions are no longer suitable for people to live in. That's the main reason Correct article usage
the fast-changing
of
knocking down some chattels in the way of building new homes for families. Change preposition
for
For instance
, a lot of the multi-apartment buildings from period
of Add an article
the period
USSR
don't have Correct article usage
the USSR
neither
architectural Correct determiner usage
an
nor
cultural legacy. So, there is no reason for them to be renovated. Correct word choice
or
Instead
, they can be replaced by new properties with modern technology and beautiful design.
Overall
, it is worth all the money in the world to reconstruct old structures, that have value for society, than spending money on demolishing them.Submitted by sofiaavramenko0906 on
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coherence cohesion
Ensure your introduction more clearly outlines your stance on the topic and briefly mentions the points you will discuss. This helps in strengthening the logical flow and clarity of your argument.
task achievement
Although you presented a balanced view, make sure to cover both sides of the argument more evenly and comprehensively. This could involve discussing the drawbacks of demolishing old buildings more thoroughly, to better address the task.
coherence cohesion
Try to use a wider range of cohesive devices and transition words to improve the flow of ideas between paragraphs and sentences. This will make your essay more coherent and easier to follow.
task achievement
Offer more specific examples to support your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also helps in achieving a higher score in task achievement. Mention specific historical buildings or architectural innovations in newly built properties to illustrate your points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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