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Writing Samples
Band 4

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.

The chart below show the number of magazines sold per person in five countries in 2003 and 2005, with projected sales for 2007. Summarize the information by describing the main features of the charts and making comparisons where appropriate.
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This
Linking Words
 is a bar chart explaining sales of journals per individual within five territories over
three
Correct determiner usage
a
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years
Correct your spelling
three-year
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 period in 2003, 2005 and 2007. By and large,
country
Use synonyms
 B transacted the largest portion in all three years next to.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, homey E had the least sales with
slight
Add an article
a slight
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 rise in 2005 followed by
country
Use synonyms
 D. Looking into different countries,
country
Use synonyms
 B and
country
Use synonyms
 A competed over the three years
on reaching
Change preposition
to reach
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 50 per individual with
slight
Add an article
a slight
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 rise
on
Change preposition
in
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country
Use synonyms
 B in
range
Add an article
the range
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 of 45 to 50 and
country
Use synonyms
 A only below 40 in 2007.
Conversely
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 E was less than 10 over the all duration.
While
Linking Words
,
country
Use synonyms
 D surged in 2007 reaching above 20 per person, making it the highest year and 2003 was the lowest.
Country
Use synonyms
 C was fluctuating
approximetly
Correct your spelling
approximately
 30 to 35, greatest in 2003 and lowest in 2007. Making them have higher transactions in
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
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 D and E

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "rise" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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