IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

You are working for a company. You need to take some time off work and want to adk your manager about this.

#company #time #work #adk #manager
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
 letter to ask permission for 10
days
. Because I am going to
travel
 to
Dubai
 with my family
for celebrating
Change preposition
to celebrate
show examples
 my
mother
's
birthday
. My
mother
 always dreamed of travelling and celebrating her
birthday
 in
Dubai
. Our family knew about that,
therefore
 we planned to
travel
 to
Dubai
 for
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 months. My
mother
 was thrilled after hearing
this
 news. My
mother
's
birthday
 is on 10th June. We are going to fly on 9th June and
travel
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 20th June.
Therefore
 I want to take time off from
work
 for
10days
Correct your spelling
10 days
. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 we are planning to celebrate
birthday
Correct pronoun usage
our birthday
show examples
 in Burj khalifa,
then
 we are going to visit
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
another well-known places
Replace the adjective
another well-known place
other well-known places
show examples
 in
Dubai
 within 10
days
.
While
 I planning the
travel
 I
also
 thought about my
work
. I asked my colleague Phoebe about taking over my
work
's responsibility for 10
days
 and she does not mind it. So I want to tell you that if I take time off
work
 , Phoebe will take over my
work
 for me temporarily. I look forward
your
Change preposition
to your
show examples
 answer soon Yours faithfully Marjona.
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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task achievement
To improve the task response score, make sure to directly address all parts of the prompt in a comprehensive manner. Clearly stating the purpose of the letter at the beginning can make your intention clearer.
coherence and cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, strive to logically organize the information in your letter, maintaining a smooth and logical flow from introduction to conclusion. Use a variety of cohesive devices but ensure they are appropriate and do not compromise clarity.
task achievement
For task achievement, it's crucial to offer more detailed explanations and relevant examples that closely align with the prompt. Consider expanding on how the time off will impact your work and how your arrangements ensure continuity in your absence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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