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Writing Samples
Band 7

It is common nowadays for each member of the family to have their own piece of modern technology. Some people think this will lead to a break down in family relationship and communication. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It is irrefutable that advanced technology not only changes the living style of the dwellers but
also
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 has a deep impact on their family relations. Every member of the house has their own electronic gadgets which create a difference in their communication. As far as I am concerned I completely agree with the statement that there is a decline in family bonding
due to
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 the greater utilization of digital devices.
To begin
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 with, Electric gadgets like mobile phones, computers, video games, and television affect everyday life in different ways.
Firstly
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, It cannot be denied that cell phones become an indispensable part of the masses as they use them everywhere whether they are at home, school, college, the market
as well as
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 in bed
also
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.
Consequently
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, more dependency on screens takes them away from their loved ones, and they do not spend their leisure time with their family members, and share their feelings, and their points of view about the problems that they are facing.
Moreover
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, Nowadays teenagers avoid talking with their elders because they are so attached to the digital world which includes social media.
As a result
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, there is no conversation between the family members which makes their relationship weak.
Furthermore
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, As compared to the past when letters were the only way to convey messages families were more connected with each other
as well as
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 they met physically to express their thoughts, which leads to a good and long-lasting relationship. Especially, youngsters are more connected with their old family members.
However
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, now the scenario has changed because everyone ignores the face to face communication.
Therefore
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, today people are suffering from mental issues like anxiety, depression, obesity, loneliness
as well as
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 poor social relationships.
On the other hand
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, if human beings use modern technology appropriately
then
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 it will become the most useful source to connect with the whole world. In conclusion, It can be analysed that the latest technology affects the commoners in many ways whether in their personal life or their physical and mental health which reduces the attachment between the families
as well as
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 with the outer universe. The government and the common masses should take some strong actions to curb
this
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 menace before it becomes a hard nut to crack.

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task achievement
Ensure you fully address all parts of the task. Your essay should not only present your opinion but also discuss reasons and provide examples. Although you mentioned some examples, expanding them with details would strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your essay shows a clear overall structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. To improve, work on developing a clearer argument thread throughout your essay, ensuring each paragraph flows logically to the next.
language
Use a variety of sentence structures and vocabulary to express your ideas. This will make your argument more compelling and your writing more engaging.
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