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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.

The graph below gives information about the percentage of the population in four Asian countries living in cities from 1970 to 2020, with predictions for 2030 and 2040.
#information #percentage #population #four #asian #countries #cities #predictions
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The chart
display
Correct subject-verb agreement
displays
show examples
 information about the
population
Use synonyms
 of four cities
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 Asian countries that
living
Wrong verb form
lived
show examples
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
thirty
year
Change to a plural noun
years
show examples
 between 1970 to 2020 and
also
Linking Words
 predictions for ten years in future.
Overall
Linking Words
, what
stand
Change the verb form
stands
show examples
 out from the graph is,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
 percentage of
Use synonyms
population
Add an article
the population
show examples
 will
be increased
Wrong verb form
increase
show examples
 steadily in all countries.
while
Linking Words
 the
population
Use synonyms
 fluctuated for all countries
over
Change preposition
from
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1970 to 2020.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1970 Malaysia and
Philippines
Correct article usage
the Philippines
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 level almost 30% and
then
Linking Words
 Malaysia had
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
considerable growth and have been the most populated country
over
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the 2000
t0
Correct your spelling
to
 2040.
whereas
Linking Words
 the Philippines fluctuated
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 to 2005 and
then
Linking Words
 will
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
show examples
 to 45%
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2040.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Thailand and Indonesia had less
population
Use synonyms
 in comparison
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 other
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1970 but the figures
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 Indonesia went up significantly from 2000 and will reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
55%
at
Change preposition
by
show examples
 2024.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
Consequently,
show examples
 in
Thailand
Add a comma
Thailand,
show examples
 the
population
Use synonyms
 rate went up by 10% and
then
Linking Words
 levelled off at the same level until 2020, and it will be forecasted to
clim
Correct your spelling
climb
claim
 50% by the end of the period.
Submitted by bahram.azizzade on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words population with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "went up" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • graph
  • percentage
  • population
  • Asian countries
  • living in cities
  • 1970
  • 2020
  • predictions
  • 2030
  • 2040
  • introduction
  • overview
  • trend
  • body paragraph
  • compare
  • predicted percentages
  • summarize
  • closing statement
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