IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email Give details of the purchase Describe the problem. Explain why you need a replacement urgently.

#purchase #company #email #replacement
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Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to express my dissatisfaction with my recent
order
Use synonyms
 #11122 two denim jeans blue colour. I place an
order
Use synonyms
 on your website www.dressup.com for the same on 21st
june2023
Correct your spelling
June 2023
. I
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
received my
order
Use synonyms
 on 23rd
june2023
Correct your spelling
June 2023
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when I opened the parcel the
jeans
Change noun form
jean's
jeans'
show examples
 colour
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 not blue, but it is brown, and it was small size. When I
try
Wrong verb form
tried
show examples
 to wear it did not fit me. It is tight in
Use synonyms
waist
Add an article
the waist
show examples
 and when I checked
Use synonyms
waist
Correct article usage
the waist
show examples
 it was 29
waist
Use synonyms
 size which is incorrect. I had placed the
order
Use synonyms
 for
waist
Use synonyms
size32
Correct your spelling
size 32
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I request you to provide
replacement
Add an article
a replacement
show examples
 within two days or as early as possible. As I have to attend a wedding of my friend and I ordered
this
Linking Words
 pair of jeans to wear
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
on the wedding day I have enclosed my
order
Use synonyms
 details
along with
Linking Words
original
Add an article
the original
an original
show examples
 bill of 100 $. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours faithfully, Jim Marsh
Submitted by yash334 on

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the letter comprehensively addresses all parts of the prompt. For this letter, including more details about why the replacement is urgently needed could strengthen the response. Additionally, consider elaborating on the impact of the incorrect order on your plans.
coherence cohesion
Increase the range of linking words and phrases to enhance the logical flow between ideas. This can make your writing more cohesive and coherent. For example, transitions between the description of the problem and the request for a replacement could be smoother.
task achievement
Maintain a polite and respectful tone throughout the letter, which is suitable for the context. This has been done well in your letter. However, ensure consistency in formality by avoiding informal language or contractions.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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