Schools are spending more time teaching traditional subjects such as history. Some people think they should rather spend more time in teaching skills that can help students find a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

Some people believe that spending a significant amount of time teaching academic
subjects
such
as
history
is beneficial,
while
others think that
schools
should focus on teaching practical
skills
to prepare
students
for future employment. I do believe that a balanced mix between the two opinions
integers
Fix the agreement mistake
integer
show examples
academic
subjects
and practical
skills
can lead to comprehensive education.
It is clear that
teaching academic
subjects
in
schools
is very essential for both
students
and society .
In addition
,
to
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
provide
Wrong verb form
provides
show examples
students
with necessary information for all
subjects
like Math,English, Physics, Biology and
history
,It
also
broaden
Change the verb form
broadens
show examples
the horizons of the
students
.
Furthermore
, studying
subjects
like
History
can give
students
a deep understanding of the origins and development of various countries and the progression of humanity throughout
history
.
Additionally
, certain professions,
such
as medicine, require specific qualifications or degrees. It is not only important for
students
to learn traditional
subjects
, but
also
for the betterment of society, as
schools
play a crucial role in preparing
students
to be valuable contributors to their communities and nations
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
on the other hand
, Some people
finding
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
teaching
skills
such
as critical thinking,coding ,communication and
problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
show examples
for getting a job
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
essential to be considered
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
. It can't
be deny
Change the verb form
be denied
show examples
that learning
skills
for employment is important and can provide immediate value in the workplace. Many
skills
are required nowadays in the practical field that are more valuable than traditional education
such
as coding, computer
skills
, communication
skills
,
leadership
Correct word choice
and leadership
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
lot
Correct article usage
a lot
show examples
of jobs depend on
skills
rather than traditional
subjects
such
as graphic
designs
Fix the agreement mistake
design
show examples
, chef, photographer and craftsmen that require creativity and hands-on experience. In conclusion, it is equally important to integrate practical
skills
with traditional learning which
prepare
Correct subject-verb agreement
prepares
show examples
students
for the demands of
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
workplace.
This
can combine between the two sides and make
students
more competitive.
While
traditional contribute a deep understanding of the world, the
skills
provide them with essential
requires
Replace the word
requirements
show examples
for job markets.
Submitted by monahhj123 on

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task achievement
Consider providing a more definitive stance in your introduction to set a clearer premise for your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a well-defined introduction and conclusion. Your conclusion seemed more affirming than your introduction, aim for a balance.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate your arguments. While you did mention areas in which practical skills are important, offering real-world scenarios or statistics could strengthen your point.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into clear paragraphs, each discussing a distinct idea or argument, to improve the essay's logical structure.
coherence cohesion
Use transitional phrases or words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of the essay.

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