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Writing Samples /
Band 5

which are often showcased in a detailed in a direct way, unlike some written descriptions of it.

#descriptions
As far as I am concerned,if someone
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 really
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in foreign cultures,
then
 the most efficient and direct
way
 to realise them is to visit and spend holidays for a couple of weeks there.To illustrate,visitors can have a variety of activities like having fun in tourist attractions,visiting exhibitions of local museums,communicating with local residents,tasting street food,buying some handmade crafts and their traditional clothes and so on.During
this
 process,tourists will be provided meticulous information about the various cultures,traditions,
cuisines
Correct word choice
and cuisines
show examples
 of
this
 nation,and have a deed
unerstanding
Correct your spelling
understanding
 of its brilliant historical and cultural heritage.What’s more,
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is not only a good
way
 to escape from
fast-paced
Correct article usage
a fast-paced
show examples
 and sedentary lifestyle temporarily
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
 a perfect method of relaxation to relieve stress and anxiety in touch with nature.
This
 means
,
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apply
show examples
it can exert
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
 effect on our mental and physical health. A country’s culture is established on the basis of humanity,including language,architecture,delicacy,
costum
Correct your spelling
custom
costume
,habitude,etc.In
this
 case,only when
people
 contact and build relationships with locals,they will really get to learn their culture.
On the contrary
,if they just study it through indirect ways,
such
 as books,films and
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
,the
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 they get will be plain and incomplete compared with reality.Apart from that,some cultural introductions are normally quite general
that
Correct word choice
and
show examples
 a lot of details and obscure aspects are easily overlooked.
Therefore
,
people
 can only get relatively basic and rough
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 without travel. Certainly,there might be some advantages in terms of realizing other countries through indirect methods,many
people
 believe
this
 can improve access to realizing world for these
people
 who are restricted by realistic conditions,
for example
,the lack of time and money,physical inconvenience,language barrier and so on.
This
 might be so,but I am convinced that
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
 is still necessary and the only
way
 that the
realife
Correct your spelling
real-life
 of a country is showcased in a detailed and direct
way
, unlike some written descriptions or
vedios
Correct your spelling
videos
 of it.It can not only
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 a deep imprint on
people
’s
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
but
also
 provide detailed and complete learning of culture and unique life
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 which could never gained through
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
Submitted by 1320493878 on

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structure
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should outline your main argument, and the conclusion should summarize your points.
cohesion
Use transitions between sentences and paragraphs to improve flow and coherence. Phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'In addition,' and 'However,' can help guide the reader through your argument.
content
Support your main points with specific examples. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing to the reader.
accuracy
Be cautious with spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors can distract from your message and reduce the clarity of your essay. Consider using tools or asking for feedback to identify and correct mistakes.
language use
Try to vary your sentence structures and vocabulary to make your writing more engaging and to demonstrate a wide linguistic range.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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