some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #age

Some

people

believe that

music

is a better way to connect

people

all around the world. Some bands have

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

of popularity and their

songs

have

emotional

Add an article

an emotional

show examples

connection with the

people

Therefore

,I completely agree that because of

music

people

can come together and

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

create a fanbase for their

favourite

singer.

Firstly

music

Add a missing verb

is related

show examples

to emotion.All over the world,

people

have sad

sotires

Correct your spelling

stories

satires

love

stories,which is why they feel connected to

songs

without having cultural and age

similarity

Fix the agreement mistake

similarities

show examples

.In

another words

Replace the adjective

another word

other words

show examples

,sad

songs

love

songs

can make

people

emotional

due to

this

reason they feel connected to

that

Change the determiner

that song

those songs

show examples

songs

as well as

singer

Fix the agreement mistake

singers

show examples

Rephrase

apply

show examples

also

For instance

,Taylor Swift has a great fanbase because her

songs

mainly focus on emotion and

love

, which is why

people

can feel

connection

Add an article

a connection

the connection

show examples

Secondly

music

can bring

people

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

diiferent countires

Correct your spelling

different countries

and different cultures

because

Rephrase

together because

show examples

same

Correct article usage

the same

show examples

songs

Fix the agreement mistake

song

show examples

taste.

Songs

have variety like pop

songs

,band

songs

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

love

songs

etc

due to

the fact that

people

create fan groups without having

same

Change the article

the same

show examples

culture.

Additionally

,they meet each other and enjoy their

favourite

singer

Change noun form

singer's

show examples

live concert,which is why they create

brotherhood

Correct article usage

a brotherhood

show examples

For example

,Nowadays a Korean band named BTS is very popular and

people

around the world create a fanbase which is called ARMY.They meet on a regular basis and enjoy their

favourite

band concert. In conclusion,emotional attachment and

favourite

genre

songs

have a great impact

for

Change preposition

show examples

bringing

people

around the globe having no cultural

similarity

Fix the agreement mistake

similarities

show examples

and

having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

language

Add an article

a language

show examples

barrier.

Music

is the strong path to build

Correct article usage

a wroldwide

show examples

wroldwide

Correct your spelling

worldwide

community.

Submitted by ashraftaukir on Wed Feb 28 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance task achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. It’s important to present a balanced view if the prompt asks to what extent you agree or disagree. Consider mentioning why some might hold a different opinion and why you still hold your belief.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay demonstrates an understanding of the importance of coherence and cohesion with a logical flow and relevant examples. To further improve, pay closer attention to paragraph structuring. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will discuss. Then, follow this with supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that wraps up the paragraph’s main idea.

Task Achievement

Your essay successfully uses examples to support your points which strengthens your argument. However, to take your task response to the next level, expand on your examples by explaining how they specifically illustrate your point and why they are significant. Also, try to include a more varied range of sentence structures to showcase your language skills.

General

Be cautious of spelling and grammar errors as they can hinder the clarity of your message. Regularly practicing writing and getting feedback can help identify common mistakes to focus on. Additionally, expanding your vocabulary to include more specific and varied language will enhance your writing across all criteria.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

242 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and age together. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Word Count

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that with the increasing use of mobile phones and computers, people lose the ability to communicate face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing .what do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

in the past people used to travel abroad to look for many difference from their home countr/Nowadays cities throughout the world are becoming more and more similar. what are the reasons. do the advenyages outweight disadventages

The best way to improve health is to exercise daily. To what extend do you agree?

1.Some people believe that spending money on developing technology on space exploration is unjustifiable and there are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?