Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Many perspectives
revolves
around whether Change the verb form
revolve
children
spending hours daily on smartphones
contributes to a positive or negative development
. Personally, I witness more shortcomings than advantages. In the following, I tend to discuss in terms of interpersonal and neurological aspect
with evidence from current social trends and research.
The convenience of Fix the agreement mistake
aspects
internet
allows Add an article
the internet
children
to text and video-chat
with friends regardless of time and location, explaining their habit of smartphone overuse. Some Correct your spelling
video chat
perspective
hold the belief that the social platforms on Fix the agreement mistake
perspectives
smartphones
, namely Whatsapp, WeChat and Signal, is
healthy for youngsters' social and interpersonal Correct subject-verb agreement
are
development
. Notwithstanding the convenience, research shed light on that phone-maniacs
develop Correct your spelling
phone maniacs
high
likeliness of social disorders. Correct article usage
a high
Specifcially
, Correct your spelling
Specifically
children
are less likely to initiate eye contact during conversation with a classmate or an adult. What's more, the skill of communicating through face-to-face would be lessened. They may grow a preference on
communicating through social Change preposition
for
platfo
Another interesting point of Correct your spelling
platforms
children
's indulgence on
Change preposition
in
smartphones
is due to
the quickness and diverse variety of entertainment applications. Despite its convenience and leisure, the short-lengthed videos of TikTok and Youtube
shorts Correct your spelling
YouTube
brings
detrimental Change the verb form
bring
consequence
to Fix the agreement mistake
consequences
children
's attention span. Research revealed the
a child's focusing time has been limited to Correct your spelling
that
solely
10 to 30 seconds. Given Correct your spelling
only
an
alarming effect on Correct article usage
the
the
neurological Correct article usage
apply
development
, children
could hardly build interests
Fix the agreement mistake
interest
on
academics or Change preposition
in
extra curricular
activities . It is very likely that the future generations's source of Correct your spelling
extracurricular
entertainments
purely and Fix the agreement mistake
entertainment
hevaily
relies on the source of Correct your spelling
heavily
short-lengthed
reels.
In an overview, spending hours daily on Correct your spelling
short-lived
smartphones
would be beneficial to children
's social development
. But noticably
, excessive smartphone hours are harmful to Correct your spelling
noticeably
children
's social and attention-span development
. Nonetheless
, it is believed that a suitable amount of parental guide
and time control are some of the best Replace the word
guidance
lexirs
for the prevention of these Correct your spelling
elixirs
lexers
lexis
dillemmas
.Correct your spelling
dilemmas
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Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay presents relevant ideas regarding the impact of smartphone use among children. However, the argument would benefit from a clearer and more detailed introduction that outlines your stance and the main points you will discuss. Consider adding a concluding paragraph that summarizes your arguments and reiterates your position to enhance your essay's coherence.
Logical Structure
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that ideas within and between paragraphs are logically connected. Using transitional phrases can help guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
Supporting Examples and Evidence
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support your points. Consider including statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes that clearly demonstrate the negative impacts of excessive smartphone usage among children. This will make your arguments more compelling and complete.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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