In some places old age is valued, while in othr cultures youth is considered more importnt. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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In certain nations, the interests of elderly
people
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are prioritized over younger generations. In my opinion,
although
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young
people
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are important for economic reasons, valuing an older population is a revealing commitment to human dignity. Those who value the youth in a nation argue they form a country’s economic base. There is little doubt that the majority of all workforces globally are comprised of young adults and middle-aged citizens. The average working age in nearly all industries is around 30. Young
people
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have the energy, passion, and motivation to work hard and achieve not only for the good of society but
also
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to establish a higher standard of living for themselves and their families. It is
therefore
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logical that governments should ensure younger generations have ample access to education and the resources needed to become contributing members of society. They will contribute the most in all likelihood.
However
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, human progress is about more than simply utilitarian benefits. In the past, it might have been necessary for human civilization to cruelly neglect older populations when they were fighting wars and resources were scarce.
That is
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no longer the situation. Most countries, even developing ones, can now afford to provide healthcare for all citizens and some degree of retirement support. By undertaking these kindnesses, humans distinguish themselves clearly from their basest and most animalistic instincts.
This
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can be understood as the surest sign that humanity is an evolved species culturally, socially, and emotionally and trumps any materialistic concerns related to growing already mature economies. In conclusion, though there are utilitarian reasons to support youth movements, it is more important and principled to value older
people
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.
This
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is already done in some cultures but should be more widespread.
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coherence cohesion
Make sure your essays present a clear structure with distinct introductory and concluding paragraphs, along with cohesive body paragraphs. The use of transitions between ideas and paragraphs could be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
While you've discussed both views and given your opinion, which is great for task achievement, consider also providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims. This will make your arguments more persuasive and your completion of the task more comprehensive.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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