IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people in poor countries die from diseases that are curable because they cannot afford the medication required. Do you believe that drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in these countries? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Introduction
Nowadays,
developing
Add an article
a developing
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 has been
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
increased
show examples
 death
precentage
Correct your spelling
percentage
 because
medicine
Use synonyms
very
Add a missing verb
is very
show examples
 expensive.
therefore
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
 are unable to afford
medicine
Use synonyms
 budget.
However
Linking Words
 in my point of view,as
usual
Add the comma(s)
usual,
show examples
Use synonyms
drugs
Fix the agreement mistake
drug companies
show examples
company
Use synonyms
 for making
medicine
Use synonyms
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 very high.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
 cannot reduce
Use synonyms
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 of
medicine
Use synonyms
.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,for
this
Linking Words
 problem
sort
Change the verb form
to be sorted
show examples
 out must
involved
Change the verb form
involve
be involved
show examples
there
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
 county
government
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
this
Capitalize word
This
show examples
 is my opinion
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 am going to explain with relevant
example
Fix the agreement mistake
examples
show examples
Linking Words
further
Change preposition
in further
show examples
 paragraphs.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
,first of
all
Add a comma
all,
show examples
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 would like to explain why previously
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
 cannot reduce the
price
Use synonyms
 of
medicine
Use synonyms
 for the poor
country
Use synonyms
.when they are making
drugs
Use synonyms
 have to follow the
guide lines
Correct your spelling
guidelines
show examples
.unable to
used
Change the form of the verb
use
show examples
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
 material.
for instance
Linking Words
,
Rephrase
when hart
show examples
hart
Correct your spelling
a
show examples
 patient drink some
medicine
Use synonyms
 not able to reduce
quality
Correct article usage
the quality
show examples
 if they change the stranded will be harmless
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
people
Change noun form
people's
show examples
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
.because
Correct your spelling
because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
previously
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 mentioned organization
no
Add a missing verb
has no
show examples
 possibility of
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
show examples
Use synonyms
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 of
medicine
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
government
Use synonyms
 should intervene
settle
Fix the infinitive
to settle
show examples
this
Linking Words
 problem.
My
Change preposition
In my
show examples
 opinion every
country
Use synonyms
 has main responsibility is bringing stranded life there
residence
Replace the word
residents
show examples
.So like
this
Linking Words
situation
Add a comma
situation,
show examples
 Poor
country
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
 can request financial support for
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
medicine
Use synonyms
 from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
develop
Wrong verb form
developed
show examples
Use synonyms
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
, they can give free
drugs
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For instance
Linking Words
,Sri Lanka is one of the
poor
Correct word choice
poorest
show examples
 county in the world
due to
Linking Words
Sri
Correct article usage
the Sri
show examples
Lanka
Correct your spelling
Lankan
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 giving
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
free of charges for health facilities.
Specially
Replace the word
Especially
show examples
 for cancer treatment very expensive folk are not
possible
Correct word choice
able
show examples
 to buy
medicine
Use synonyms
.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
 covid
diseases
Use synonyms
 time many poor count
people
Use synonyms
was die
Change the verb form
died
show examples
.but
Change preposition
in srilanka
show examples
srilanka
Change the capitalization
Srilanka
show examples
 that time
people
Use synonyms
die
Wrong verb form
died
show examples
 less than
Change preposition
in other
show examples
other poor
Change the wording
another poor country
other poor countries
show examples
country
Use synonyms
.
Reasons
Fix the agreement mistake
Reason
show examples
 is the
government
Use synonyms
giving
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
drugs
Use synonyms
 free of
charges
Fix the agreement mistake
charge
show examples
.
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
my point is
government
Use synonyms
 take responsibility poor
country
Use synonyms
 can recover
any
Change preposition
from any
show examples
diseases
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 3
To conclude
Linking Words
,in my point of view,poor
country
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
unable
Add a missing verb
were unable
show examples
 to buy
medicine
Use synonyms
 for any
diseases
Use synonyms
as a result
Linking Words
 folk
was die
Change the verb form
died
show examples
.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
Use synonyms
drugs organization
Fix the agreement mistake
drug organizations
show examples
 cannot reduce
Use synonyms
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
 of
medicine
Use synonyms
.if there
reduce
Wrong verb form
are reduced
show examples
Use synonyms
price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
show examples
 product quality will go down,
As well as
Linking Words
diseases
Use synonyms
 not recover.So
this
Linking Words
 condition
government
Use synonyms
 want to take responsibility.
As a result
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
no
Verb problem
are not
show examples
 worried about
there
Correct your spelling
their
show examples
 financial situation and
Use synonyms
company
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
also
Linking Words
no
Add a missing verb
has no
show examples
 need to reduce
Use synonyms
price
Correct article usage
the price
show examples
 there products .
Conclusion
.

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Task Achievement
To improve Task Achievement, ensure you answer all parts of the prompt clearly. Your essay should clearly state whether you believe drug companies should make their products available at reduced prices in poor countries. Provide specific reasons and examples to support your point.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Start with an introduction that presents your opinion. Then, use separate paragraphs for each of your main points, and use connecting words to guide the reader through your argument. Finish with a conclusion that summarizes your opinion and the reasons behind it.
General Advice
Consider revising your essay for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Frequent grammatical errors can make your argument difficult to follow. Reading your essay out loud or using a grammar checker can help identify and correct these issues.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Pharmaceuticals
  • Generic drugs
  • Patent laws
  • Healthcare disparity
  • Subsidies
  • Non-Governmental Organizations (NGOs)
  • Intellectual property
  • Epidemiology
  • Affordability
  • Global health initiatives
  • Corporate social responsibility
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