Some people think that family life and parents have great influences on children’s development. Do you agree or disagree?
It is believed that Family is the main unit of the society.
In
addition
no one can ignore the important role of both family Add a comma
addition,
life
and parents on the development of the children
in all aspects of life
.From my point of view, I completely agree with this
statement as the family is the nuclear
of any modern society.
Replace the word
nucleus
It is clear that
the impact on children
starts from early childhood through their parents and relitaves
. Correct your spelling
relatives
In other
words
Add a comma
words,
youngersters
start to imitate their father and mother in everything during their footspring. Correct your spelling
youngsters
For
example
the child Add a comma
example,
learn
language from her mother and his father. Another example is that the Change the verb form
learns
offsping
Correct your spelling
offspring
laquaire
the Correct your spelling
acquire
knoweldge
about the outside world through their mums and dads. An estatistic research in Correct your spelling
knowledge
USA
in 2002 shows that 79% Correct article usage
the USA
from
Change preposition
of
children
Change noun form
children's
infromation
Correct your spelling
information
gained
from their family during their early years. For all these reasons, family Add a missing verb
is gained
role
can not be ignored at all.
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
More over
, the family Correct your spelling
Moreover
life style
has a great Correct your spelling
lifestyle
influnce
on the development of the Correct your spelling
influence
offsprings
. Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
That
is mean
that boys and girls who Wrong verb form
means
brought
Add a missing verb
were brought
in
an educated family Change preposition
up in
more
likely different from those who Add a missing verb
are more
wew
born in an Correct your spelling
were
illiterated
Correct your spelling
illiterate
family
. Fix the agreement mistake
families
For instance
, The first kind of family will be eager to motivate and encourage their children
to learn to find a good job and an addition
estimated place in the society.
Replace the word
additional
A research
Remove the article
Research
has been
done in Verb problem
apply
the
developed countries illustrates that Correct article usage
apply
children
who was
brought Change the verb form
were
in
poor families are less likely to complete their education and improve their Change preposition
up in
life style
. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
In contrast
, other happier youngesters
will gain all the things they need to Correct your spelling
youngsters
acheive
their dreams and Correct your spelling
achieve
aquaire
an Correct your spelling
acquire
honorable
place among others.
In conclusion, Change the spelling
honourable
childrens'
development Change noun form
children's
usually
influenced by many factors mainly Add a missing verb
is usually
father
and mother and the way they live. Family plays Correct article usage
the father
Correct article usage
an unforgtable
unforgtable
role in Correct your spelling
unforgettable
anyone
Change noun form
anyone's
life
that can lead the rest of his life
.Submitted by monahhj123 on
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coherence cohesion
Consider organizing your essay more logically by clearly separating your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. This will make your arguments easier to follow and enhance the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
In your introduction and conclusion, aim to provide a more concise summary of your main points and your stance on the topic. This helps readers understand your position and how you've supported it throughout your essay.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your main points are well-supported with specific examples or evidence. Although you've mentioned an interesting statistic, consider expanding on your examples by providing more detail or additional instances that directly support your arguments.
task achievement
Address the task directly by making sure your response fully answers the question posed. Incorporate a clear statement of your position in the introduction and ensure each paragraph contributes to defending your viewpoint.
task achievement
To clarify and expand your ideas, work on the depth and detail of your explanation. This could involve discussing the implications of your examples or exploring different perspectives to enrich your analysis.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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