IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The maps below are existing and proposed floor plans for the redevelopment of an art gallery.

#maps #floor #plans #redevelopment #art #gallery
The first picture illustrates the current map of an art
gallery
, and the second one shows what is planned to be developed.
It is clear that
 the
space
 of the
gallery
 is going to be expanded on the left side.
Also
, the right-side entry is set to be removed, and a new entrance will be constructed on the top of the permanent
exhibition
space
. One interesting point is that separate temporary
exhibition
 spaces are proposed to be demolished, making way for an enlarged area for permanent
exhibition
space
.
In addition
, the
gallery
 will experience the replacement of the office with a store and an area for plants. In the near future, the left side of the
gallery
 is going to be used for special exhibitions, and just on top of it, an
exhibition
 store will be introduced. By the coming years, the lobby will have been knocked down and turned into a new
space
, which would be useful for educational aims.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that the essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Expand on the description of each element by comparing the current and future plans more directly, emphasizing changes and their implications more clearly.
Coherence & Cohesion
Enhance the introduction and conclusion by providing a more engaging opening statement that previews the changes discussed, and a stronger closing paragraph that summarizes the main points or reflects on the overall significance of the redevelopment.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve logical structure by ensuring a clear and logical progression of ideas. Consider organizing the essay by areas of the gallery and discussing each area's current state followed by planned changes, to enhance clarity and flow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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