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Band 3.5

some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. Others say that these ane not the only reasons why sould learn. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #reason #language #travel #work #country #ane #sould
People
argru
Correct your spelling
argue
argued
 that
History
 is an important
crriculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
 in schools.
While
 others believe that subjects
for example
 Technology and Science
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 more valuable than
History
. I agree with the first point of view because we should know about old
people
 and
theri
Correct your spelling
their
there
innevations
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innovations
.
People
 think
History
 is just a school
crriculum
Correct your spelling
curriculum
. But the fact is if we are going to
ignour
Correct your spelling
ignore
 our incent we will not be able to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
. For
inectenc
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instance
, all the medical science
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 based
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 what our old doctors left for us. Their
innvations
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innovations
innovation
 are what made us still alive. I think our life are layered, we have today
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
what our incent
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 done and we
devloped
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developed
 it, and the least thing we can do
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 them is
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
tell
there
Replace the word
their
show examples
 stories to our
childeren
Correct your spelling
children
. Nowadays, learning Technology or Science is of
cours
Correct your spelling
course
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
important for our future.
However
, we should know who we are. A recent study showed that humans must have something to relate to,
according to
 their suggestion it could be family
for example
.
History
teach
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teaches
show examples
 us about our
ansecters
Correct your spelling
ancestors
, how they
life
Replace the word
lived
show examples
 and
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
 up and that
what
Add a missing verb
is what
show examples
 made us want to learn about them. I believe
people
 should know
thier
Correct your spelling
their
History
therefore
 they will have
thing
Fix the agreement mistake
things
show examples
 to be proud of. In
conclesion
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conclusion
, we
shoud
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should
 give
every thing
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everything
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 value, we should learn
Change preposition
about poplis
show examples
poplis
Correct your spelling
peoples
 at school
their
Correct word choice
and their
show examples
History
 so they can
knew
Change the verb form
know
show examples
 about
thim
Correct your spelling
them
 and their exploration.
Submitted by zx00154 on

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Content Development
To enhance task achievement, clearly address both views presented in the essay prompt before stating your own opinion. Offer a balanced discussion of why some may prioritize learning technology and science over history.
Idea Development & Support
For clarity and comprehensiveness, refine your essay by ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea. Additionally, expand on your arguments with more specific examples or evidence to strengthen your points.
Logical Flow
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a smooth and logical flow of ideas. This can be achieved by using more varied linking words and ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
Structure
Introduction and conclusion are essential for structuring your essay. Make sure your introduction clearly presents the topics to be discussed, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and restates your position.
Language Accuracy
Pay attention to spelling, grammar, and punctuation. Errors in these areas can distract from your message. Consider practicing topics with a focus on these basic elements to enhance the overall quality of your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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