IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The most important aim of science ought to be to improve people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#aim #science #people’s #lives
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In recent times, some argue that the most noticeable purpose of
science
Use synonyms
 should be about fostering humans’
lives
Use synonyms
,
while
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 some others
lay
Verb problem
apply
show examples
claim that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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science
Use synonyms
 is not just about human beings. Despite the fact that nowadays,
science
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 should be dedicated to every single
creature
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, it appears to me that the whole aim of it is about people. The in-depth analysis in the following paragraphs intends to discuss why
this
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 essay agrees with
this
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 perspective. Considering human beings as the only
Use synonyms
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
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 that are valued the most is denied by some people these days. It means that there are some individuals who support every single
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
creature
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 on the planet, so they believe that
science
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 should not be dedicated only
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 developing people’s
lives
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. Not only can
this
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 be followed by them, but
also
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 they try to raise awareness about it. Take the environment as an example, nowadays, many
equipments
Correct your spelling
equipment
 have
invented
Add a missing verb
been invented
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 for wildlife and animal habitats
such
Linking Words
 as protected wildlife or some medicines for animals who are on the brink of extinction to keep them alive.
Moreover
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, there are some scientists who work for different species to save their
lives
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.
On the other hand
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, scientists are humans, so
this
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 could not be ignored that they consider themselves as the most important
creature
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. Obviously, they would do some experiments to improve the quality of individuals’
lives
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.
For example
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, take technology as a
science
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 which
assisting
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assists
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 many people since it has been
cultivating
Wrong verb form
cultivated
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 by scientists. Precisely, the development of it has made our
lives
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 easier in various aspects of life
such
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 as the healthcare system, communication,and educational system which has modified the quality of life.
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure a clear and strong introduction and conclusion to strengthen your essay. The introduction should outline your stance clearly, whereas the conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reassert your viewpoint.
Logical Structure
Organize your ideas more effectively by utilizing clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea. This will enhance the readability and logical flow of your essay.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of linking words and phrases to improve the cohesion between sentences and paragraphs. This will make your argument more coherent and easier to follow.
Supporting Evidence
Develop your main points with specific examples and evidence. While you provided examples, they could be more detailed and directly tied to your argument to enhance your Task Response score.
Task Response
Ensure your ideas directly address the essay prompt. Your essay should clearly articulate your viewpoint regarding the statement and use relevant, detailed examples to support your stance.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • crucial role
  • enhancing
  • quality of human life
  • advancements
  • medicine
  • healthcare
  • scientific research
  • solving societal problems
  • improving living standards
  • global issues
  • climate change
  • food scarcity
  • technological advancements
  • limitations
  • negative consequences
  • ethical considerations
  • sustainability
  • environmental preservation
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