Many young people spend their free time in shopping malls. This has negative effects both on their lives and the society. (To what extent do you agree or disagree?)
Spending leisure
time
in
exploring good things is necessary in Change preposition
apply
busy
schedule. Some people think that it has Add an article
a busy
bad
impact on youngsters if they spend their free Add an article
a bad
time
in shopping malls. I totally disagree with the above statement and I will discuss my viewpoints in further
paragraphs.
Firstly
, we all know that people have limited free time
because they are always remain
busy Verb problem
apply
in
their work. They can go to the shopping centres to spend some quality Change preposition
with
time
with friends and family. They can enjoy there and buy some clothes, Shoes and any other things which they need in their daily life. By going there they will know the current fashion trend in the market.
Secondly
, they can also
spend time
with their children as there are various play games in the mall. In this
way, they will spend there
holidays better rather Replace the word
their
then
just sitting at home and Replace the word
than
get
bored.By doing Wrong verb form
getting
this
, they will also
know the current deals or sales on different brands or they can buy them according to
their pocket.
In my opinion, we all need change
Fix the infinitive
to change
from
our daily Change preposition
apply
routine
. Going and spending Fix the agreement mistake
routines
time
in shopping malls have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
positive
effect as by doing so we know much more about our outside by meeting different people there or Add an article
a positive
try
new trends in our life. Wrong verb form
trying
This
also
provides relaxation to our body and mind.Submitted by Kamaljeetkaur6968 on
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Vocabulary Improvement
You should aim to include a broader range of vocabulary specific to the topic. Avoid repeating the same words or phrases, such as 'spend time' and 'going there.'
Structuring
Work on presenting a more structured argument with a clear introduction, body paragraphs each centered on a unique point, and a concise conclusion that summarizes your view.
Sentence Structure
Incorporate a variety of sentence structures to enhance the readability of your essay and to better demonstrate your English proficiency.
Task Response
While you mentioned advantages, consider also addressing the prompt's focus on the potential negative impacts to provide a balanced discussion. This could involve acknowledging commonly cited negatives before explaining why you disagree.
Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, ensure that your paragraphs flow logically from one to the next. Using a wider range of linking words can help in better connecting your ideas and arguments.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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