These days too many people maintain their health by relying on doctors and medicine, rather than by following a healthy lifestyle. To what extent to you agree with this statement.
Nowadays a majority of individuals healthcare
maintaining
their Wrong verb form
maintain
overall
- well being
by relying on on healthcare workers and Add a hyphen
well-being
medicine
, rather than following a healthy lifestyle
.while
there are
some truth to Change the verb form
is
this
belief, I would partly agree with this
point of view for some sound reasons.Such
as keep
Wrong verb form
keeping
Correct article usage
a health
health
Replace the word
healthy
lifestyle
beneficial
for Add a missing verb
is beneficial
humans
different
ways . Change preposition
in different
However
, doctors
and medicine
crucial role
Fix the agreement mistake
roles
during
Change preposition
in
people
Change noun form
people's
lifetime
.
From one perspective,many people Replace the word
lives
containing
Verb problem
have
Correct article usage
a health
health
Replace the word
healthy
lifestyle
through engaging variety Change preposition
of sport
sport
activities or regularly following Change the noun form
sports
diet
and Correct article usage
a diet
leave
bad eating habits.To explain, these days Wrong verb form
leaving
humans
adapting
Correct your spelling
adopting
Replace the word
healthy
health
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
such
as change
bad eating or Wrong verb form
changing
play
Wrong verb form
playing
sport
games Change the noun form
sports
for
Change preposition
to
stay
active.Change the form of the verb
staying
As a result
dicrease
Correct your spelling
decreased
health
risks humans life
.Fix the agreement mistake
human lives
Moreover
, that contribute
Correct subject-verb agreement
contributes
eroding
obesity problems among Change preposition
to eroding
youngers
in society today. As Correct your spelling
youngsters
consequence
, individuals do not have to apply Correct article usage
a consequence
doctors
or medicines for their health
.
From other
perspective, Correct quantifier usage
another
doctors
and medicine
important
in Add a missing verb
are important
people
Change noun form
people's
lifetime
because in different situations we need Replace the word
lives
doctors
and medicine
.Such as
recovering Correct quantifier usage
As
diseases
or Change preposition
from diseases
accidens
time help us cause Correct your spelling
accidents
accident
of
that time we apply Change preposition
apply
doctors
.They help us Change preposition
to doctors
difficult
situations like Change preposition
in difficult
injuring time
treatment with Wrong verb form
injury
medicine
.For instance
, according to
give reportChange preposition
on
center
Fix the agreement mistake
centers
everyday
about 35 per cent population Replace the word
every day
visiting
hospitals and complain Wrong verb form
visit
various
Change preposition
about various
health
problems.Therefore
,we always apply
Add the preposition
apply for
doctors
and medicines during lifetime
Correct pronoun usage
our lifetime
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
different
situations.
In conclusion, Change preposition
in different
while
maintaining Correct article usage
a health
health
Replace the word
healthy
lifestyle
beneficial
Add a missing verb
is beneficial
Change preposition
for humans
humans life
Fix the agreement mistake
human lives
but
Correct word choice
apply
doctors
and medicines essential
for Add a missing verb
are essential
Correct article usage
a health
health
Replace the word
healthy
lifestyle
.Submitted by soglomovsarvar on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay to correct grammatical errors and improve sentence structure. This will enhance clarity and coherence.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. Provide detailed examples and explanations to fully support your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Structure your essay more effectively. Include clear topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs and use linking words to improve the flow between ideas.
coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear stance in your introduction and a succinct summary of your main points in your conclusion. This strengthens the introduction and conclusion components of your essay.
task achievement
Increase the variety and accuracy of your vocabulary. This can make your arguments more convincing and your essay more engaging to read.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?