IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

You have heard that a developer plans to build a shopping centre near your home. Write a letter to the council. In your letter Say how you heard about the plan Explain how you feel about it Ask for more information about it

#developer #plans #centre #home #council #plan #information
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Dear Sir or Madam, The reason why I am addressing
this
 letter is that I am writing to request you some information about
school
Add an article
the school
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.
school
 because
this
 is extremely important for my education. Do you teach different subjects in your
school
.
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?
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Moreover
, do you have
English
Correct article usage
an English
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 course
in
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at
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 your
school
.
Change the punctuation
?
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 I
prefer
Add the particle
prefer to
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 improve my speaking skills and learn
English
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the English
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 language. Can you tell me about various accommodations? I
prefer
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prefer to
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 stay comfortable and modern accommodation.
In addition
, It should
to
Change the verb form
apply
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be near
to
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apply
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my
school
 .
Furthermore
, you ought to tell
the
Correct pronoun usage
me the
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 quality of
meals
Correct pronoun usage
my meals
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 as I do not consume some fruits and dishes,
such
 as meat, an egg and apples. These products are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 my health. I think that you understand exactly what I mean. Thank you for your time. I look forward to hearing from you Yours faithfully, Anna Steve
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Task Achievement
Ensure the letter addresses the topic directly. Your letter did not directly relate to the given task of writing to the council about a planned shopping centre. Start by mentioning how you heard about the shopping centre plan, share your feelings about it, and ask specific questions related to the shopping centre.
Coherence & Cohesion
Organize your letter into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a single idea. Begin with an introduction stating the purpose of your letter, followed by body paragraphs each addressing a different aspect of the topic, and conclude with a closing statement.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to connect ideas within and across paragraphs to improve the flow of the letter.
Task Achievement
Adopt a writing tone suitable for the intended recipient and purpose of the letter. In this case, a formal tone is required when writing to the council.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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