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Writing Samples
Band 4

Doing an enjoyable activity with a kid helps to improve your skills and it is beneficial than reading. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#activity #kid #skills
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Currently, many
individuals
Use synonyms
 prefer to play interesting and enjoyable
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
 with a
child
Use synonyms
Fix the infinitive
to helps
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helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
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 to improve their skills and they think that many
activities
Use synonyms
 like outdoors are more creative than
studiying
Correct your spelling
studying
. I will declare both of them with relevant examples in my essay. From one perspective, carrying out an interesting activity with a
child
Use synonyms
 can improve their skills because I believe that playing
activities
Use synonyms
 like outdoors can
be lifts
Change the verb form
lift
show examples
 the
child
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's spirits. But you should
playing
Change the verb form
play
be playing
show examples
activities
Use synonyms
 with a
child
Use synonyms
 because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
your kid can be bored alone and
this
Linking Words
 helps you to erode your
nervous
Replace the word
nervousness
show examples
.
As a result
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, carrying out
activities
Use synonyms
 with a
child
Use synonyms
 can
be affected
Wrong verb form
affect
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to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
her or his
future
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.
Such
Linking Words
 as, If you play games with your
child
Use synonyms
 more, it can be
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 to your kid and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
he
she
show examples
 can become
talented
Add an article
a talented
the talented
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 person in the
future
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.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, your
child
Use synonyms
 would like to play games with you in his spare time, If you nurture him with patriotism.
Therefore
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, I
regard
Verb problem
apply
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct your spelling
think
show examples
 doing
an
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
enjoyable
activities
Use synonyms
 with a
child
Use synonyms
 like outdoors can improve better skills.
Whereas
Linking Words
, many people believe that reading plays a pivotal role in the
individuals
Use synonyms
' life than enjoyable
activities
Use synonyms
 because If you teach your
child
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instead
Linking Words
 of carrying out
activities
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,
this
Linking Words
 helps to improve their thinking ability.
As a result
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adults can be
popular
Add an article
a popular
show examples
 and active
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in the
future
Use synonyms
 and lots of can be
honored
Change the spelling
honoured
show examples
 your son If you teach your son since he was young.
Such
Linking Words
 as, If you
do
Verb problem
play
show examples
 games with your
child
Use synonyms
, it can be
habit
Add an article
a habit
show examples
 for him in the
future
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. So I believe that many
individuals
Use synonyms
 should teach their children since they
was
Wrong verb form
are
show examples
 young If the parents want
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
their children can be talented
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 in the
future
Use synonyms
.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I hope that both doing
activities
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 and studying can be
Correct your spelling
useful
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 for the
Use synonyms
individuals'
Change noun form
individuals
show examples
child
Use synonyms
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve your score, focus on constructing a clear and logical structure in your essay. Begin with an introductory paragraph that outlines your stance clearly. Use separate paragraphs to discuss each main point, ensuring a smooth transition between ideas.
Coherence & Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion should clearly present your stance on the topic and succinctly summarize the main points of your argument. Ensure these sections are distinctly articulated to enhance the clarity of your essay.
Task Achievement
Support your arguments with specific, relevant examples. These examples should be detailed and clearly linked to the main points you are making. The use of more varied and precise examples will strengthen your argument and improve your essay's persuasiveness.
Task Achievement
To achieve a complete response, make sure to fully address all parts of the prompt. This involves discussing both sides of the argument to some extent and then clearly stating your own opinion. Keep your discussion focused and directly related to the prompt to improve this aspect.
Task Achievement
Work on presenting clear and comprehensive ideas. Each paragraph should focus on a single main point, explained and supported in detail. Try to improve the clarity of your thoughts by organizing them more logically and using clearer sentences.
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