In some countries, only few young people go to classical music concerts or or play classical music. Why? Should young people be encouraged to attend and learn more
The number of
people
attending classical Use synonyms
music
Use synonyms
concerts
or playing musical instruments has Use synonyms
been
decreased in many parts of the world. There are some pragmatic reasons why a decrease in Unnecessary verb
apply
the
visitor numbers ensues and some of the benefits which Correct article usage
apply
young
generation can invariably take advantage Correct article usage
the young
from
.
It is not uncommon Change preposition
of
seeing
fewer individuals, especially young Wrong verb form
to see
people
, being fascinated by the idea of going Use synonyms
classical
venues or playing classical instruments. Change preposition
to classical
This
is mainly because, with the wide options of recreational Linking Words
places
ranging from cinemas, Use synonyms
Correct word choice
and departments
departments
stores to restaurants, which Change the noun form
department
is
offered by the modern world, Correct subject-verb agreement
are
people
find Use synonyms
worthless
and tedious in some regards Correct pronoun usage
it worthless
attending
Verb problem
apply
such
Linking Words
places
. Once being aware of Use synonyms
places
that make room for young Use synonyms
people
to spend their time in a more intriguing way Use synonyms
as well as
being engaged in intrusive actions as opposed to remaining Linking Words
calmness
and Replace the word
calm
tranquility
which are required by some Change the spelling
tranquillity
places
where Use synonyms
the
classical Correct article usage
apply
music
takes place, classical Use synonyms
concerts
has been less ubiquitous in terms of attendance. Use synonyms
As well as
the increased interest Linking Words
for
amusement centres, being driven by modern life, where everyone is resorting to work, meanwhile being under Change preposition
in
ever rising
pressure of monotonous life, time for going to Add a hyphen
ever-rising
such
Linking Words
places
or playing classical interments is more likely hard to be squandered on. Use synonyms
This
is, young Linking Words
people
are compelled to compete against each other in order to bring the best out of themselves. Having been forced to study Use synonyms
for becoming
a prosperous member of society, young Change preposition
to become
people
find it difficult to allocate time for Use synonyms
places
where classical Use synonyms
music
takes place.
The idea of providing support, by Use synonyms
rising
the interest of individuals to go to Correct your spelling
raising
such
Linking Words
places
is instrumental. Use synonyms
This
is significantly important because Linking Words
while
going to classical Linking Words
music
Use synonyms
concerts
, the horizon of Use synonyms
people
can be broadened. The more Use synonyms
people
listen to classical Use synonyms
music
, the more they will be able to cultivate Use synonyms
the
sense of altruism and compassion. By impeding Correct article usage
a
this
Linking Words
ill-interest
towards classical Correct your spelling
ill interest
music
, can Use synonyms
people
prevent the slippery slope Use synonyms
lack
of care and community. Change preposition
of lack
In contrast
, if Linking Words
people
are not encouraged to visit Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
places
, having Use synonyms
relentless
desire to go to only Add an article
a relentless
the relentless
places
other than Use synonyms
concerts
, Use synonyms
people
would, in turn, Use synonyms
self-centred
and uncooperative.
In conclusion, the reasons for Add a missing verb
be self-centred
this
ill-interest towards classical Linking Words
concerts
can be attributed to two factors, including being busy with drudgery work and the introduction of more modern and amusing facilities for Use synonyms
young
generation. Correct article usage
the young
However
, it is of significance to stimulate the passion of Linking Words
people
for going to classical Use synonyms
concerts
seeing as it can open up their mindset, making them a wealth of knowledge.Use synonyms
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence that indicates what the paragraph will be about.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points by adding more specific examples and explanations. Your essay would benefit from detailed examples that illustrate the reasons behind the decrease in interest towards classical music and the benefits of engaging with it.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on the structure and flow of your ideas to make your essay more logical and easier to follow. Each paragraph should logically flow to the next with appropriate transition words or phrases.
Task Achievement
Improve the task response by addressing both parts of the question thoroughly. Make sure to explain why the trend is occurring and discuss in detail whether young people should be encouraged to attend and learn more about classical music.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite