Crimes committed by teenagers are increasing. Discuss this issue. Give reasons and suggest some solutions.
The number of crimes committed by
teenagers
is rising. This
is
case Unnecessary verb
apply
appear
because of Correct subject-verb agreement
appears
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
supervision
from parents
to children
. To tackle this
problem parents
and schools must work together to regulate and direct teenagers
' interactions.
The biggest reason why juvenile crime cases are increasing is due to
lack
of Correct article usage
a lack
supervision
from parents
. Parents
do not provide supervision
over how children
socialize around the house, family and school
. Parents
do not monitor who their children
hang out with and to what extent their children
socialize. Lack
of supervision
results in teenagers
having the wrong social groups and trying to commit crimes out of curiosity during their transition to adulthood. for example
, children
from broken home
families do not get enough love or attention from their parents
at home
, so they try to seek attention outside the home
in the wrong ways because they are not taught from
Change preposition
at
home
that the actions they do are wrong and hurt other people.
The best way to overcome this
problem is for parents
and the school
where their students are to work together to regulate and direct the behavior
and relationships of Change the spelling
behaviour
teenagers
. by
teaching and regulating their social ways will really help Change preposition
apply
children
to commit juvenile crimes in their transition period. for example
, schools in Indonesia provide behavioral
lessons by discussing bullying so that Change the spelling
behavioural
children
know it is a bad thing. The school
provides real examples of what bullying is like so that children
are aware that no matter how small it is, hurting their friends is a dangerous criminal act.
In conclusion, the increase in juvenile crime cases is due to
lack
of attention from Correct article usage
a lack
parents
as the first educational institution for children
. To overcome this
problem, parents
must work together with
the school
to regulate the attitudes and relationships of their teenagers
.Submitted by misstiasclassroom on
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Introduction & Conclusion
Ensure a clear introduction that outlines the discussion points. Your introduction could be more specific in stating the main reasons and potential solutions.
Supported Main Points
Develop each paragraph with a single idea, supported by specific examples or further explanation. While you provided examples, focusing on developing these with more detail could strengthen your argument.
Logical Structure
Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow of your ideas. While you've used some, increasing their variety and accuracy can enhance readability.
Complete Response
Try to cover the topic in a balanced manner by allotting equal parts of the essay to both the reasons behind teenage crimes and the suggested solutions. This allows for a more thorough exploration of the issue at hand.
Clear & Comprehensive Ideas
Ensure clarity in presenting your ideas by structuring your paragraphs effectively. One way to do this is to start each paragraph with a clear topic sentence, followed by explanations or examples.
Relevant & Specific Examples
Where possible, incorporate real-life statistics or studies to support your arguments. This provides a stronger basis for your examples and makes your essay more persuasive.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.