Holding international games such as Olympic games is an exciting event. Some people think that it has positive effects while others argue it is a waste of money. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
Hosting international competitions
such
as the Olympic games
and the Cricket World Cup has always been a pride for every Nation. While
some people
exhibit pride and assert it has a positive impact on society, others argue that the money should be spent on other useful things. This
essay will discuss both views before sharing a personal opinion.
On one hand, the positive benefits of hosting international games
are many. First and foremost, it brings nations together. People
from other countries visit our nation as participants and the audience, which allows us to showcase the culture and beauty of our nation in front of others. People
of our country
will also
be exposed to foreign cultures. Additionally
, there will be a gain in income. People
will benefit from new employment opportunities such
as for setting up infrastructure and event planning. Whilst the government earns a lot of money through selling event tickets, the local vendors also
make a lucrative business due to
the large inflow of people
.
Furthermore
, the home ground support will benefit the participants from our country
fostering them to perform better in the games
. Finally
, the inflow of foreigners will promote tourism in our country
fostering economic growth.
On the other hand
, opponents argue that our country
has a lot of problems like poverty and unemployment. The large amount of money spent for conducting the games
should be spent for the benefit of people
in terms of free food and subsidies. They also
think that crowds caused by the event also
lead to more pollution.
In my opinion, hosting international competitions like the Olympic games
and the World Cup is like a dream come true moment. As a citizen, we should take pride in exhibiting our talent in organizing such
events that eventually boost our country
’s value.
To conclude
, organizing international events does involve costs, but the outcomes in terms of value, revenue, and economic growth outweigh them.Submitted by sajnamandothputhiyaveetil on
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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure, with each paragraph seamlessly connecting to the next. Though you’ve done well, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to enhance flow.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, which is great. In the introduction, try to present the topic and your viewpoint even more concisely. Including a brief outline of the points to be discussed can also enhance clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
You have supported your main points with relevant examples and explanations. To further improve, incorporate a diverse range of examples, including statistics, studies, or personal anecdotes where applicable, to reinforce your arguments.
Task Achievement
You've addressed the task fully, providing a balanced discussion and a clear opinion. To enhance Task Achievement, ensure each argument is similarly detailed and keep refining your clarity by focusing on the specificity of your examples and the directness of your assertions.
Task Achievement
Your ideas are clear, but strive for greater depth in exploring each side of the argument. Dedicating equal and comprehensive exploration to both perspectives before concluding with your opinion ensures a more compelling response.
Task Achievement
You’ve included relevant examples, which is commendable. To further improve Task Achievement, diversify the sources of your examples and ensure they are specific and directly support the point you’re making, adding more depth to your argumentation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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