longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people allow people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what way can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make? Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the contribution of the older people to society. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

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Nowadays, excessive
impovements
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improvements

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in health services are considered an indispensable factor in our lives
consequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the health of older people getting better and can continue to live full and active lives over the age of sixty-five.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will examine the pros and cons of
this
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and provide a logical conclusion.
Firstly
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, the main disadvantage can be
titled
Verb problem
called

There may be a verb use issue here.

show examples
as
Correct your spelling
a

The word as doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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higer
Correct your spelling
higher

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pension age,
accordingly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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will be fewer opportunities in the market for younger members and
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can result in a higher unemployment rate.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, each organisation has a limited number of employees and
therefore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

most of them will be over sixty.
Next,
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another drawback can be defined as "fewer resources". It goes without saying that, our planet has limited
sources
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resources

The word sources doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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for living;
hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the resources will be negatively affected and will not
distribute
Wrong verb form
be distributed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb distribute. Consider changing it.

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over all living creatures including human beings.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there is a limited agricultural area for various crops with limited water sources
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as rivers and for sure cannot fulfil all people's needs in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

case.
Secondly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are many advantages to
higher
Correct article usage
a higher

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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living age.
For example
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we can use elder experience across many fields as having some folks doing the same job for years will
be resulted
Wrong verb form
result

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb be resulted. Consider changing it.

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in better processes and enhance the quality of life.
Moreover
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, another benefit related to the emotional side will result.
For instance
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, if we have advanced medicines, we will have less suffering for our beloved families.
To conclude
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the aforementioned reasons, we may safely conclude that the positive impact of improvements in the health of older people far outweighs the drawbacks
although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

it may have some pressure on other elements
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as resources and jobs.

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task response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question. Focus on explaining how society can benefit from the contributions of older people, rather than discussing pros and cons of longer life spans.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help guide the reader through your essay.
task response
Develop each main point in a separate paragraph, and ensure you fully elaborate on these points with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, make better use of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Revise your conclusion to more clearly summarize your arguments and restate your position, ensuring it is directly related to the essay question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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