longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people allow people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what way can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make? Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the contribution of the older people to society. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.

Nowadays, excessive

impovements

Correct your spelling

improvements

in health services are considered an indispensable factor in our lives

consequently

Linking Words

, the health of older people getting better and can continue to live full and active lives over the age of sixty-five.

This

Linking Words

essay will examine the pros and cons of

this

Linking Words

and provide a logical conclusion.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the main disadvantage can be

titled

Verb problem

called

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

higer

Correct your spelling

higher

pension age,

accordingly

Linking Words

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

will be fewer opportunities in the market for younger members and

this

Linking Words

can result in a higher unemployment rate.

For example

Linking Words

, each organisation has a limited number of employees and

therefore

Linking Words

most of them will be over sixty.

Next,

Linking Words

another drawback can be defined as "fewer resources". It goes without saying that, our planet has limited

sources

Correct your spelling

resources

show examples

for living;

hence

Linking Words

, the resources will be negatively affected and will not

distribute

Wrong verb form

be distributed

show examples

over all living creatures including human beings.

For instance

Linking Words

, there is a limited agricultural area for various crops with limited water sources

such

Linking Words

as rivers and for sure cannot fulfil all people's needs in

this

Linking Words

case.

Secondly

Linking Words

, there are many advantages to

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

living age.

For example

Linking Words

, we can use elder experience across many fields as having some folks doing the same job for years will

be resulted

Wrong verb form

result

show examples

in better processes and enhance the quality of life.

Moreover

Linking Words

, another benefit related to the emotional side will result.

For instance

Linking Words

, if we have advanced medicines, we will have less suffering for our beloved families.

To conclude

Linking Words

due to

Linking Words

the aforementioned reasons, we may safely conclude that the positive impact of improvements in the health of older people far outweighs the drawbacks

although

Linking Words

it may have some pressure on other elements

such

Linking Words

as resources and jobs.

periset

Feb 29, 2024

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task response

Ensure your essay directly addresses the question. Focus on explaining how society can benefit from the contributions of older people, rather than discussing pros and cons of longer life spans.

coherence cohesion

Introduce a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help guide the reader through your essay.

task response

Develop each main point in a separate paragraph, and ensure you fully elaborate on these points with relevant examples.

coherence cohesion

To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, make better use of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

Revise your conclusion to more clearly summarize your arguments and restate your position, ensuring it is directly related to the essay question.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

278 words

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