longer life spans and improvements in the health of older people allow people over the age of sixty-five can continue to live full and active lives. In what way can society benefit from the contribution that older people can make? Write an essay to an educated reader to discuss the contribution of the older people to society. Include reasons and any relevant examples to support your answer.
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Nowadays, excessive
impovements
in health services are considered an indispensable factor in our lives Correct your spelling
improvements
consequently
, the health of older people getting better and can continue to live full and active lives over the age of sixty-five. This
essay will examine the pros and cons of this
and provide a logical conclusion.
Firstly
, the main disadvantage can be titled
Verb problem
called
as
Correct your spelling
a
higer
pension age, Correct your spelling
higher
accordingly
it
will be fewer opportunities in the market for younger members and Correct pronoun usage
apply
this
can result in a higher unemployment rate. For example
, each organisation has a limited number of employees and therefore
most of them will be over sixty.
Next,
another drawback can be defined as "fewer resources". It goes without saying that, our planet has limited sources
for living; Correct your spelling
resources
hence
, the resources will be negatively affected and will not distribute
over all living creatures including human beings. Wrong verb form
be distributed
For instance
, there is a limited agricultural area for various crops with limited water sources such
as rivers and for sure cannot fulfil all people's needs in this
case.
Secondly
, there are many advantages to higher
living age. Correct article usage
a higher
For example
, we can use elder experience across many fields as having some folks doing the same job for years will be resulted
in better processes and enhance the quality of life. Wrong verb form
result
Moreover
, another benefit related to the emotional side will result. For instance
, if we have advanced medicines, we will have less suffering for our beloved families.
To conclude
, due to
the aforementioned reasons, we may safely conclude that the positive impact of improvements in the health of older people far outweighs the drawbacks although
it may have some pressure on other elements such
as resources and jobs.Submitted by periset on
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task response
Ensure your essay directly addresses the question. Focus on explaining how society can benefit from the contributions of older people, rather than discussing pros and cons of longer life spans.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a clear thesis statement in your introduction that outlines the main points you will discuss. This will help guide the reader through your essay.
task response
Develop each main point in a separate paragraph, and ensure you fully elaborate on these points with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
To improve your score in coherence and cohesion, make better use of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Revise your conclusion to more clearly summarize your arguments and restate your position, ensuring it is directly related to the essay question.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?