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Band 3.5

Some people think that the spread of multinational companies and globalization produces positive outcomes for everyone. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

#people #spread #companies #globalization #outcomes
The expansion of multinational
companies
due to
 globalisation in the global market platforms has a positive impact on every person, as some people believe. Personally, I agree with
this
 statement that the spread of multinational
companies
 and globalisation has advantages for everybody.
First,
multinational
companies
, through spreading around the world, will generate large
business
 markets.
Also
, the
expanding
Replace the word
expansion
show examples
 of multinational
companies
 can be able to access new cultures and they can be able to expand their knowledge and experience globally. It may improve society through multinational
companies
 that will help the typical living of people by opening a variety of jobs and acquiring international clients.
Finally
, the global
expending
Correct your spelling
expenses
show examples
 of multinational
companies
 will ensure businesses access new markets and
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
start in their marketplaces. As well, they can start new aptitudes in the market. Successfully,
companies
 may have greater opportunities as long as they have the ability to ensure the new markets which will improve economic growth
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide. multinational
companies
 may be able to have a high
invest
Replace the word
investment
show examples
 within the country and rise to high levels of success in the marketplace. In my view, multinational
companies
 can access global
business
. They have the ability to create job opportunities for everyone and they become
business
 leaders,
hence
 enabling higher levels of efficiency in the market. They can bring people to exchange skills and cultures.
As significant
Correct word choice
Significant
show examples
 multinational
companies
 can make investments anywhere where they can achieve a higher level of
achievements
Fix the agreement mistake
achievement
show examples
 in the
business
 platform.
Submitted by hsmkashi on

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Task Achievement
Make sure your essay directly addresses the question. While you expressed agreement, more detailed reasoning and direct explanations on how globalization positively impacts everyone could strengthen your argument.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples and case studies to support your points. This will make your arguments more compelling and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, transition smoothly between paragraphs using linking words. This enhances the flow of your argument, making it more cohesive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Develop your main points further. Each paragraph should explore a distinct advantage of the spread of multinational companies and globalization, anchored by examples and evidence.
Coherence & Cohesion
Conclude your essay by summarising the main points and restating your position. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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