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Writing Samples
Band 5

In today’s world, private companies rather than the government pay for and conduct most scientific research. Do you think the disadvantages outweigh the advantages?

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Recently, most of
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the reserach
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reserach
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research
 activity has been funded and operated by private
companies
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.
Although
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 the process may consume an effective amount of
time
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, it actually can restrain
the
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apply
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knowledge
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 and
information
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 delivery. Considering those points, I do believe that the disadvantage outweighs the advantage. The authority of
private
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the private
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 sector to fund and conduct
research
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 resulting in
a
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apply
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time
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 efficiency. Notably, it is because researchers do not have to deal with a complicated bureaucracy to do their
research
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 activity. From my undergraduate experiences, the amount of
time
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 for the private
companies
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 to accept my funding proposal for
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research
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a research
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, alongside with the
compeletion
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completion
 of activity only took less than two
month
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months
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 because they
deem
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deemed
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 to briefly acknowledge the
research
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 findings,
while
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 in the same case, it can
took
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take
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 more than five months with the government-affiliated
companies
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,
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apply
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 since they
are thoroughly examine
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are thoroughly examining
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 the
research
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 process.
Nevertheless
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, since the government already issued specialised regulations to overcome
this
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 problem, I believe it will no longer
important
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be important
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.
On the other hand
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, the domination
from
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of
show examples
 private
companies
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 in scientific scrutiny potentially
restrain
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restrains
show examples
 the delivery of
knowledge
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 and useful
information
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. It is because the majority of them will keep the
research
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 findings for their own purposes rather than
public
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the public
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, resulting in a potential
knowledge
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 discrepancy. Take,
for example
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, the cutting-edge
research
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 about hybrid vehicles from Bakrie
Research
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 Institute that
remain
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remains
show examples
 disclosed and confidential from public access because their affiliated funding company
impose
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imposed
show examples
 them to not share the results.
Thus
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, I think that drawback can cause
a
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apply
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great concern, as it brings inequality in getting novel
knowledge
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 and
information
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. In conclusion, notwithstanding
with
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apply
show examples
the fact that private
companies
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 can be efficient in
time
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, I think the disadvantages still cause a great
significane
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significance
significant
 than
that
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the
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benefit
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benefits
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 because
it
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they
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 can limit the public consumption
on
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of
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knowledge
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 and
helfpul
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helpful
information
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.

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Task Response
Ensure to provide a balanced view of the topic before stating your opinion. This improves the development of your argument and presents a complete response to the task.
Task Response
Clarify and expand on your main ideas with more detailed explanations and a wider range of examples. This will help to strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on creating more fluent transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Using varied transitional phrases can greatly enhance the readability and flow of your text.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each part should clearly fulfill its purpose with the introduction presenting the topic, body paragraphs discussing points with examples, and the conclusion summarizing the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
Support your main points with more specific examples and detailed explanations. This strengthens your arguments and contributes to a clearer and more comprehensive presentation of your ideas.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • groundbreaking technologies
  • efficiently allocate resources
  • innovative projects
  • strict timelines
  • profit motives
  • basic research
  • commercial application
  • corporate funding
  • biases in research
  • unbiased exploration
  • balanced exploration
  • public sector
  • private sector
  • synergy
  • comprehensive outcomes
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