Some people believe that a good way to reduce crime is to have longer sentences, while others think that there are alternatives to this problem. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is an intensive debate about how the best method to decrease offences. do not
However
, a lot
of individuals are proposing that the guilty persons must take strong punishments while
others are going towards creat
Correct your spelling
creating
a substantial ways
. In Correct the article-noun agreement
a substantial way
substantial ways
this
essay
l will discuss both perspectives Add a comma
essay,
as well as
opinion
' given in the end.
On one hand, Fix the agreement mistake
opinions
reasons
Correct article usage
the reasons
of
the first group are perfect sentences required because Change preposition
for
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
crimes
committed are limiting and people
are scared from
Change preposition
of
punishing
. Replace the word
punishment
Moreover
, when the person committed
Wrong verb form
commits
crimes
and he punished that
ought to Correct pronoun usage
he
held
other Change the form of the verb
hold
people
think
more before going to Fix the infinitive
to think
committed
Replace the word
commit
crimes
. For instance
, in the world today there are a lot
of serious offences such
as killing, stealing...etc.in addition
, this
serious conditions require a strong punishment.
Change the determiner
these
Furthermore
, people
by nature are trying to avoid a bad destiny, so by imposing this
sentences, the proportion of Correct determiner usage
these
crimes
will be reducing
automatically.
Change the form of the verb
reduced
On the other hand
, another gathering believe
that the traditional ways of combating Change the verb form
believes
crimes
are not sufficient, for this
we need to create Add a comma
this,
a new types
for reducing Correct the article-noun agreement
a new type
new types
crimes'
Change noun form
crimes
number
. Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
For example
,the
governmental institutions and civilian organisations must Correct article usage
apply
be creating
Wrong verb form
create
a programs
on the various media to advise Correct the article-noun agreement
programs
a program
people
. Indeed, the guilty' personsCorrect pronoun usage
who
committed
a dangerous crime should Change the verb form
commit
be joining
in the process that Wrong verb form
join
lead
Change the verb form
leads
him
to be Correct pronoun usage
them
a
good persons in Correct article usage
apply
the
society rather than punishing them. Correct article usage
apply
Also
, this
group says that the system of punishment have
been applied for a long time and a Change the verb form
has
lot
of people
still committed
Replace the word
commit
crimes
, for these
we need to Correct pronoun usage
this
following
Change the verb
follow
new
system.
Correct article usage
a new
To conclude
, although
a lot
of scholars claimed
to Wrong verb form
claim
applied
Wrong verb form
apply
another ways
to punish Replace the adjective
another way
other ways
people
, a nother
Correct your spelling
another
believe
that Correct subject-verb agreement
believes
old
system is the best. I agree with the first opinion because the punishment is necessary for the universal' safety.Correct article usage
the old
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical structure by ensuring that each paragraph clearly presents one main idea with supporting details. Avoid vague statements and make sure the transition between paragraphs is smooth and logical for better readability.
coherence cohesion
Include both an introduction and a conclusion that are clear and directly address the essay question. While you have both, ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your arguments and clearly states your stance for a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Support each main point with specific examples or evidence. This strengthens your argument and makes your essay more convincing. Try to find real-world examples or hypothetical situations that clearly demonstrate your point.
task achievement
Ensure you address all parts of the question in a balanced way. While you discuss both views and give your opinion, strive for more depth in analyzing the views and presenting your own. Offer clear, comprehensive ideas that show understanding of the issue.
task achievement
Use a range of sentence structures and a wide vocabulary to express your ideas more effectively. Aim for clarity and precision in your writing to make your points more easily understood.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example