IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risk outweigh disadvantages?

#people #risks #lives #risk
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Taking
risks
Use synonyms
 can play an important role in
people
Use synonyms
's
lives
Use synonyms
, whether, it can have consequences. I totally believe the advantages of taking
risks
Use synonyms
 outweigh its drawbacks. There are many
people
Use synonyms
 in the world who prefer to take
risks
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 in their personal
lives
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 or in their careers. They know if they do not
risk
Correct subject-verb agreement
risks
show examples
 and
staying
Wrong verb form
stay
show examples
 in their safe zone, they will not be able to make
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
progress. Taking
risks
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 can lead to great
successe
Correct your spelling
success
successes
.
For example
Linking Words
, if a
person
Use synonyms
 does not feel accomplishment and
fulfillment
Change the spelling
fulfilment
show examples
 with the
job
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, and
also
Linking Words
 is self-assurance, may try to change the situation.
This
Linking Words
person
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 can resign
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
 the
job
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 and start a new business. In the new business, that
person
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 can push the limits and reach more achievements.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, there are some
risks
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 that
people
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 take in their personal
lives
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. In Iran, many
people
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 choose to emigrate, actually, it is a risky decision because you have to move to another country and
left
Wrong verb form
leave
show examples
 your family and friends and
also
Linking Words
 your home. But, it will be a great possibility to have a better life.
Also
Linking Words
, you can have access to a better quality of education or even find a
job
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 with a higher salary. On the negative side, taking
risks
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 does not always lead to a better situation, it can have consequences. In the way of taking
Use synonyms
risks
Add a comma
risks,
show examples
 you might face vicissitudes, and you even may feel regret. So, it is always a possibility that all things go to disaster. As an example, if someone
start
Change the verb form
starts
show examples
 a new business, it can be unsuccessful, that
person
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 might lose all the money and wish never
did
Change the verb form
to do
show examples
 that.
Also
Linking Words
, a
person
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 who
choos
Correct your spelling
chooses
 to emigrate to
other countries
Fix the agreement mistake
another country
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 may face several obstacles
such
Linking Words
 as problems in the language of that country or may
can
Remove a modal verb
apply
show examples
not find an appropriate
job
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.
However
Linking Words
, the possibility of great success and a better situation make
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
taking
risks
Use synonyms
worthwile
Correct your spelling
worthwhile
. In conclusion,
however
Linking Words
,
choose
Wrong verb form
choosing
show examples
 to take
risks
Use synonyms
 can have some consequences, the advantages of that which lead to a better personal or professional
Use synonyms
lives
Fix the agreement mistake
life
show examples
 cause you to feel
accomplishment
Replace the word
accomplished
show examples
.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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Content
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Coherence
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Task Response
Address the task prompt thoroughly by discussing both sides of the argument before stating your opinion.
Grammar and Accuracy
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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