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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Teachers in different countries get different payments and many people say that teachers should be paid according to how much their students learn. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?

#teachers #countries #payments #people #students
Education is the most important ingredient in the development of
nation
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the nation
a nation
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. Some people
says
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say
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 the
teachers
 must be paid
according to
the
Correct article usage
apply
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how
much
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many students
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student
 learn , here I
am totally disagree
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totally disagree
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 with
this
 statement . In the following paragraphs , I will give my reasons to support my opinion. First of all, every
children
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child
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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different
Correct article usage
a different
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 capability to grasp the lecture and knowledge given by the
teachers
.
For instance
 , in the same
class
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class,
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 there are many students who fail to understand a simple topic
whereas
other
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others
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, understand it completely . Significantly it is seen that
,
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apply
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there are
variety
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a variety
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 of
student
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students
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 in class so
this
 statement of paying
teachers
according to
 how much
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 learn
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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seems an alluring idea, but not a practical one . Another key thing is to remember , every
children
Change to a singular noun
child
show examples
 has
different
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a different
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 goal to attend the class . Some students really want to study , gain knowledge and light of achieve something big in their career
while
other
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others
show examples
 just come to school because they are forced by their
parent
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parents
show examples
. So , at
this
point
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point,
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teachers
 are not
forced
Wrong verb form
forcing
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 the
student
 to learn and study.
At
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In
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this
 situation ,
decision
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the decision
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of rewarding
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to reward
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according to
children
Change noun form
children's
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learn
Wrong verb form
learning
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 is not valid . To draw the conclusion from my personal experience that
Correct article usage
the
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quality of teaching does not
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
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that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, how much
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 learn or not . So I
am
Verb problem
apply
show examples
totally
denied
Wrong verb form
deny
show examples
 the idea of paying
teachers
according to
 how much
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
 learn.
Submitted by ketulgpatel1 on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that you fully address the prompt by providing a more detailed explanation of your opinion. Develop your main points further with more substantial arguments and integrate more specific examples to substantiate your claims.
Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your essay more effectively. This includes clearer paragraphing with distinct introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Use a variety of linking words to connect ideas smoothly and ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea that is elaborated upon.
Logical Structure
For an improved logical structure, aim to create a more persuasive argument by presenting counterarguments and refuting them. This will not only strengthen your position but also demonstrate your ability to engage critically with the topic.
Introduction and Conclusion
Incorporate an introduction that clearly states your position and a conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your opinion. This will provide a clear framework for your essay and make your stance on the issue unmistakable to the reader.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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