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Writing Samples
Band 5

The table gives information about enrollment of students in Manchester University in 1937, 1963 and 2017.

The table gives information about enrollment of students in Manchester University in 1937, 1963 and 2017.
#information #enrollment #students #manchester #university
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The table compares information about the
number
 of new
students
 who enrolled in
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the university
a university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of
Manchester
 over 3 different years (1937,1967,2017).
Overall
,
university
Correct article usage
the university
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 of
manchester
Capitalize word
Manchester
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 has become more popular and global. In 1937, the
number
 of new
students
 who enrolled in the
university
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University
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 of
mamnchester
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Manchester
 was( 327)which is much lower than the
number
 of
students
(1133) who enrolled
to
Change preposition
on
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the university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of
manchester
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Manchester
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 in 1967.
Moreover
,the
proprotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of female
students
 who enrolled
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
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the university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of
manchester
Capitalize word
Manchester
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 in 2017 was (55%)
from
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of
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 the total
number
 (6254).
Also
,the proportion of female
students
 (45%)who enrolled
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University
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university
 of
manchester
Capitalize word
Manchester
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 in 1937 is much higher than the proportion of female
students
 (35%)who enrolled
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
Add an article
the university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of
manchester
Capitalize word
Manchester
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 in 1967. The highest proportion of
students
 who came from within 40 miles of
Manchester
 enrolled
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
Add an article
the university
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university
Capitalize word
University
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 of
manchester
Capitalize word
Manchester
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 was 55% in 1937.
Submitted by suski205 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 71%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, students, university, manchester with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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