Many elderly people are no longer looked after by their families but are put in care homes or nursing homes. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?

#people #families #care #homes #trend

The proportion of the elderly has been increasing throughout the world, which has caused the exuberance of kinds of nursing

homes

. In my opinion, despite some merits, many present nursing

homes

have an issue that cannot be ignored.

Care

homes

are the natural consequence of an ageing society, and they significantly relieve the nursing stress of the young.

As a result

of persistent low fertility, it has been increasingly common that two adults have to take

care

of four elders and a child simultaneously.

This

is especially typical in China, where,

according to

a demographic survey, about 40% of families exist in

this

structure and overwhelming nursing pressure forces them to appeal to

care

homes

. In

this

respect, the emergence of nursing

homes

is helpful in sharing with the young the stress of caring for the elderly.

However

, closely

along with

the advantages is an appealing issue of some nursing

homes

. It is the issue of abusing the elderly. Many of the elderly are sent to nursing

homes

mainly because of their inability to fend for themselves, which makes them extremely vulnerable to caregivers' deliberate harm. To illustrate, in 2017, there was sensational news that a caregiver serving for California State Hospital had a long time verbally abused the elderly living there and sometimes even pricked them with syringe needles. The outrageous news reminds us that current nursing

homes

may still have some serious disadvantages. In conclusion, the ageing trend has stimulated the rapid development of

care

homes

. They to a certain extent relieve the stress of the young, but

also

provide a greenhouse for intolerable behaviours,

such

as deliberately harming the elderly.

Therefore

, governments must enact pertinent laws to effectively regulate the operation of nursing

homes

Submitted by hx88375757 on Fri Jun 21 2024

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task response

Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of the trend. However, to improve further, ensure you cover a wider range of points and examples.

coherence cohesion

While your ideas are clear and well-organized, some of your sentences can be more concise. Try to avoid overly complex sentences that may obscure your main points.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.

task response

The use of specific examples, such as the California State Hospital incident, strengthens your arguments and makes them more convincing.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Professional care
Medical attention
Trained staff
Social interaction
Combat loneliness
Safety and security
Relief for families
Loss of autonomy
Emotional impact
Cost
Financial strain
Quality of care
Neglect and abuse
Detachment from family
Mental wellbeing

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