IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals believe that learning with a team of
people
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 in a classroom is more beneficial than studying online at home.
This
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 essay agrees with that statement because it improved the social and
communication
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skills
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 of
students
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 and
also
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 helped them to better understand the main
topic
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 of the
lesson
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. First and foremost, many
students
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 study with a
group
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 of
people
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 because it develops their
communication
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 and social
skills
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.
Furthermore
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, better social
skills
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 are needed to build good relationships with your friends or colleagues. It is improved by
communication
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 with others, and studying in a
group
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 is the best way to do that.
For instance
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, schools
such
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 as Nazarbaev International School, where use working in groups to improve the social
skills
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 of
students
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 for their future.
Moreover
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, the children who learn with a team of
people
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 better understand the
topic
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 of the
lesson
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 rather than online
students
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. It is because they can ask questions about the
topic
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 of the
lesson
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 from their
group
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 members and
also
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 can help someone with something. The prime example of
this
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 is Bilim Innovation Lyceum,
this
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 school encourages a supportive relationship between
students
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 and teaches them to help each other in some situations. In conclusion, after having weighed everything mentioned , it can be said it is beneficial for
students
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 if they learn with a
group
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 of
people
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 rather than studying online at home. It is because it helps them increase their knowledge of student about the
topic
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 of the
lesson
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 and
also
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 develops their
communication
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 with others.

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Task Achievement
While you provide good structure with an introduction and conclusion, try to further clarify the link between your points and the prompt - why does developing social skills during in-class learning outweigh benefits of online learning?
Coherence and Cohesion
Proofread your essay to avoid repetitive phrases and minor grammar errors for a more polished result, such as 'schools such as Nazarbaev International School, where use working in groups'.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in understanding your main points.
Task Achievement
The examples provided from specific schools add credibility and relevance to your arguments.
Task Achievement
The essay addresses key benefits of social interaction and communal learning environments, showing depth in analysis.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Collaborative learning
  • Debate
  • Discipline
  • Engagement
  • Feedback loop
  • Peer support
  • Educational resources
  • Adaptive learning
  • Self-motivation
  • Independent study
  • Digital literacy
  • Virtual classroom
  • Accessibility
  • E-learning
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