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Band 5.5

Nowadays, many young people deliberately damage public places. What are the causes and solutions?

#people #damage #places
These days,more country-building popular areas and many
children
 deliberately suffer from them.
This
 essay will explore the reasons for
this
 and mention some possible solutions.
To begin
 with, some nations suffer these more places from damage.Who is behind it?
This
 question is commonly asked among people but to those who need an answer.Nowadays, many places have sightseeing and relaxation. To
this
 damage namely throw stones or broken windows by young adults.
Such
 as they are not having enough knowledge,family or school education and intellect.Nobody at teenage on time and the result is known to everyone.
This
 situation is
also
 observed in my country more if needed. City corners have more big walls because protect from storms or wind. Walls painted by bad teenagers and pitiful situations. First of all, humans will try any problems.They are the start of
children
's instruction. The family bring more books for sons and girls. Some people must be responsible and kind to their progeny. He needs to return from
this
 bad situation. Women should start from the time of pregnancy to educate their
children
. Unmannerly, young teenagers suffer with parents or engage in school, education centre clubs them that there will be a change in their minds. By protecting areas where human activity is limited and again modern building places. Damage to more public spaces poses a serious problem if we keep quiet. In conclusion, people should always be responsible for their
children
's education.
Submitted by saydusmonovasomiddin94 on

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coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring your essay more clearly. Start with an introduction that states the topic and outlines your main points. Use separate paragraphs for different ideas, and make sure your conclusion summarizes the discussion effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your main points are supported by specific examples or data. This helps strengthen your arguments and makes your writing more convincing.
task achievement
Address the task directly by clearly stating the causes of the problem in one paragraph and then offering solutions in another. Make sure your solutions directly address the causes you've identified.
task achievement
Work on clarity and specificity in your writing. Avoid vague language and ensure that your ideas are comprehensively explained and easy to follow.
General Advice
Consider using a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures to make your writing more formal and appropriate for an academic setting.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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