IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. Do you agree or disagree?

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In
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
the
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 present world, every nation has been investing money in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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physical factors
for being
Wrong verb form
to be
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 listed as
successful
Correct article usage
a successful
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 nation.
However
Linking Words
, many argue that the authorities should focus on
public
Correct article usage
the public
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sectors
Check wording
sector
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 rather than the arts, music, and theatre. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because there are multiple factors,
such
Linking Words
 as health, education, food, water, and basic human facilities, that should not be overlooked.

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task response
Write more than one main idea and explain each one more.
task response
Add a clear example for health, school, or water to support your view.
task response
Keep your position clear from start to end.
coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, also, and so.
coherence and cohesion
Make one full body paragraph with one main point and support.
coherence and cohesion
Add a short ending that repeats your main view.
task response
Your opinion is clear: you agree with the idea.
task response
Your ideas stay on the topic of government money.
coherence and cohesion
The opening gives the reader the main subject.
coherence and cohesion
You list several public needs like health and education.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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