In many countries, more and more people are becoming overweight. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effects might this have in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #effects #future

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Nowadays, there are a lot of people

are

Correct pronoun usage

who are

show examples

suffering from excess weight.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss the reasons that may provoke

obesity

Use synonyms

and what should have been done about these situations. One of the main causes of the rising trend of

obesity

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in many countries is easy access and availability of unhealthy

food

Use synonyms

options. With the expansion of fast

food

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chains and convenience stores,

coupled with

Linking Words

the proliferation of

food

Use synonyms

delivery services, people have more opportunities to consume calorie-dense, nutrient-poor foods. These foods are often high in sugar, fat and salt, which can lead to weight gain when consumed in excess.

Secondly

Linking Words

, the aggressive marketing tactics used by the

food

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industry, especially social media platforms, highly influence

food

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choices and consumer

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

. Children are easily manipulated

with

Change preposition

show examples

eye-catching advertisements,

while

Linking Words

adolescents associate unhealthy foods with desirable qualities

such

Linking Words

as happiness, popularity and success. The first consequence is that the worsening

obesity

Use synonyms

epidemic can lead to severe health problems, including heart disease, diabetes, and certain types of cancer.

For instance

Linking Words

, more and more children visit dentists

due to

Linking Words

consuming sugary beverages, chocolates and products high in sugar. The dominance of marketing and

food

Use synonyms

industries over healthcare can result in prioritizing profit over public health. The more people spend money on groceries, the more income they have to improve their marketing strategies and

as a consequence

Linking Words

the healthcare system is left behind. In conclusion, the causes of

obesity

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are a lot of options

Change preposition

apply

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and

Correct word choice

apply

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easy access to unhealthy

food

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and aggressive marketing strategies. These trends can lead to acute health problems and a flourishing

food

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industry that can have negative effects on the development of the healthcare system.

Submitted by burtebaeva02 on Fri Mar 01 2024

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task achievement

Begin by directly addressing the question in your introduction. Your essay should have a clear statement that outlines your main points. This helps ground your argument and provides a roadmap for your readers.

task achievement

Ensure you include comprehensive ideas that thoroughly answer the prompt. Your essay should delve deeper into causes and consequences, perhaps including a wider range of factors or more nuanced examples showcasing your understanding of the issue.

task achievement

Your essay would benefit from more specific examples that illustrate your points. Drawing on personal knowledge or experience adds depth to your argument and makes your essay more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure, but refining the linkages between paragraphs could enhance coherence. Using clear transition phrases would help guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.

coherence cohesion

While you have both an introduction and a conclusion, make sure each is fully developed. Your introduction should clearly state your essay's purpose, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate the significance of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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In many countries, more and more people are becoming overweight. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effects might this have in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Your opinion

Some people believe that the internet has positive effect , others think that It has negative trends .Discuss both views and give your opinion .

In this technological era, personal information is stored on computers by many companies and organisations. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that women should play an equal role as men in a country’s police force or military force, while others think women are not suitable for these kinds of jobs. Discuss both views and give your opinion

International tourism has brought enormous benefits to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the advantages?

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. Do you agree or disagree?