In many countries, more and more people are becoming overweight. What do you think are the main causes of this? What effects might this have in the future? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Nowadays, there are a lot of people
are
suffering from excess weight. Correct pronoun usage
who are
This
essay will discuss the reasons that may provoke obesity
and what should have been done about these situations.
One of the main causes of the rising trend of obesity
in many countries is easy access and availability of unhealthy food
options. With the expansion of fast food
chains and convenience stores, coupled with
the proliferation of food
delivery services, people have more opportunities to consume calorie-dense, nutrient-poor foods. These foods are often high in sugar, fat and salt, which can lead to weight gain when consumed in excess. Secondly
, the aggressive marketing tactics used by the food
industry, especially social media platforms, highly influence food
choices and consumer behavior
. Children are easily manipulated Change the spelling
behaviour
with
eye-catching advertisements, Change preposition
by
while
adolescents associate unhealthy foods with desirable qualities such
as happiness, popularity and success.
The first consequence is that the worsening obesity
epidemic can lead to severe health problems, including heart disease, diabetes, and certain types of cancer. For instance
, more and more children visit dentists due to
consuming sugary beverages, chocolates and products high in sugar. The dominance of marketing and food
industries over healthcare can result in prioritizing profit over public health. The more people spend money on groceries, the more income they have to improve their marketing strategies and as a consequence
the healthcare system is left behind.
In conclusion, the causes of obesity
are a lot of options of
Change preposition
apply
and
easy access to unhealthy Correct word choice
apply
food
and aggressive marketing strategies. These trends can lead to acute health problems and a flourishing food
industry that can have negative effects on the development of the healthcare system.Submitted by burtebaeva02 on
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task achievement
Begin by directly addressing the question in your introduction. Your essay should have a clear statement that outlines your main points. This helps ground your argument and provides a roadmap for your readers.
task achievement
Ensure you include comprehensive ideas that thoroughly answer the prompt. Your essay should delve deeper into causes and consequences, perhaps including a wider range of factors or more nuanced examples showcasing your understanding of the issue.
task achievement
Your essay would benefit from more specific examples that illustrate your points. Drawing on personal knowledge or experience adds depth to your argument and makes your essay more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure, but refining the linkages between paragraphs could enhance coherence. Using clear transition phrases would help guide the reader more smoothly from one idea to the next.
coherence cohesion
While you have both an introduction and a conclusion, make sure each is fully developed. Your introduction should clearly state your essay's purpose, and your conclusion should succinctly summarize your main points and reiterate the significance of the topic.
Your opinion
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