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Band 5.5

Most societies has its homeless people. Some people think that the best way to help them is to give them money. To what extent do you agree?

#societies #people #money
It is certainly that nowadays some
people
 stay behind homeless
while
 some
people
 tend towards the viewpoint that the best way to help them is to give them
money
, I would have to support the idea that other measures can be taken to make their lives better. On the one hand, there are clear arguments that the best way to help them is to give them
money
. One of the main reasons can be that if we give
money
 they can use it for
other purpose
Change the wording
another purpose
other purposes
show examples
.
For example
, they may have borrowed
money
 from other
people
 so they should not give
money
 to them.
On the other hand
, I agree with the viewpoint that other measures can be taken to make their lives better.
Firstly
, I believe that it is necessary to give things to these
people
 so that they do not use them for other purposes.
For instance
, what they need is a warm house, food,
money
 and water. It would be a pity if we did not bring
such
 things.
Secondly
, I
also
 feel that to save
people
 from poverty, bribery should be stopped after the burden of bribery the burden of poverty follows.
This
 is because will be a solution to many problems. In conclusion,
although
 wealth is the fundamental need of homeless
people
, yet giving them cash will not mitigate
this
 housing menace. Only with the help of
well crafted
Add a hyphen
well-crafted
show examples
 programs, can
this
 issue be solved in the
long-term
Correct your spelling
long term
show examples
. Axiomatically, it is the duty of the civic body to facilitate skilled learning
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
show examples
 for their homeless citizens so that they can buy homes for their families on their own.
Submitted by soglomovsarvar on

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logical structure
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are more directly aligned with the essay's argument and present a succinct summary of your main points.
supported main points
Develop and support your main points with more specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
complete response
Address the task more directly by clearly stating your position and elaborating on it throughout the essay. Avoid straying from the main topic.
clear comprehensive ideas
Make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive by organizing them effectively and ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea.
relevant specific examples
Incorporate relevant, specific examples to illustrate your points more vividly. This helps to substantiate your arguments and make them more persuasive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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