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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbian island between 2010 and 2017.

The graph below shows the number of tourists visiting a particular caribbian island between 2010 and 2017.
#tourists #caribbian #island
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The information about the
number
Use synonyms
 of visitors who explored
Correct article usage
the caribbean
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caribbean
Change the capitalization
Caribbean
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Use synonyms
island
Fix the agreement mistake
islands
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Linking Words
while
Change preposition
during
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 their stay on the
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships is depicted by the given line graph. The information is calibrated in the form of
millions
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most striking feature of the given chart is that the maximum
number
Use synonyms
 of travellers
prefferd
Correct your spelling
preferred
 to stay on the
island
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 comparatively less interest was shown by the tourists to book
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships in the initial years. Taking a cursory glance, it can be clearly manifested that staying on
Use synonyms
island
Add an article
the island
show examples
 was the first choice of visitors than its
couterparts
Correct your spelling
counterparts
 starting from an initial figure of just above 0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in the year 2010 which later stayed constant for the next
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
year. Following that, travellers on the
island
Use synonyms
 continued to
rose
Wrong verb form
rise
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 gradually before suffering a plateau from 2013 to 2015. Moving to
further
Linking Words
 details, the
number
Use synonyms
 of explorers on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cruise
Use synonyms
 ships
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 0.5
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2011, and
then
Linking Words
 decreased and reached
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
just under 0.05
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 in 2012.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of vacationers in 2013, starting again from 0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 noticeably soared and eventually became equal to the
explorers
Correct quantifier usage
number of explorers
show examples
 on
Use synonyms
cruise
Fix the agreement mistake
cruises
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 between 2015 and 2016. In the year 2017, there
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 a significant difference of 0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 between the people who like to reside on the
cruise
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 and
who
Correct determiner usage
those who
show examples
 like to stay on the
island
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, the total
number
Use synonyms
 of individuals on the
island
Use synonyms
 of
Correct article usage
the caribbean
show examples
caribbean
Change the capitalization
Caribbean
show examples
 continued to grow
till
Change preposition
to
show examples
 3.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 in the given time period.
Submitted by navkiranji on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, island, cruise, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stay" was used 4 times.
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